2. purpose: means understanding that you must have a purpose in life, or a calling to derive satisfaction and fulfillment and meaning out of your days. Principles: identifying and detecting your purpose, life’s mission statement, or profession or calling, passion, determining and clarifying your purpose or your why
Hi, my name is Ben Balden. My life’s mission is to help everyone live a happier, fuller life. My intention for creating this information here is to realize my vision of a world full of happy and successful people at peace with themselves and in harmony with others. I warmly invite you to join me in this passionate cause: to help all people everywhere live a happier, fuller life. Let’s start with ourselves.
The Main Idea
You may not know it, but you need purpose in your life. With purpose, you will experience immense joy. Without purpose or a sense of purpose, your life can become void, desolate, and meaningless. Very dull. You could be the richest man on the planet, and successful by anyone’s standards, but without purpose, you will be unhappy. You will feel like something is missing.
Having a purpose in your life (you life’s purpose) means having a reason for being alive. It means contributing to something, accomplishing something. Humans have an innate desire to belong to something and have meaning – it’s in our nature.
Your purpose in life also provides your drive. It gets you up in the morning. It is your passion that keeps you moving forward and excited about life.
Your purpose is the key 🔑to your happiness and fulfillment.
My intention here is to help you live a happier, fuller life. Part of realizing that goal is helping you find your life’s purpose. This will be a process. It will take time, but we can start today.
EXPECTED TIME FOR COMPLETION: 1 hr 15 min
What We Will Cover
First, we must understand you, who you are, what it means to have a purpose, what a purpose is, how that relates to and informs your passion, and finally how we detect, clarify, and create your life’s purpose.
Our goal at the end of this lesson is to gain a further understanding of what a “purpose” is and how you get or detect it.
- U R Unique
- Your Purpose
- Your Passion
- Clarify & Create it
Unique
There is only one of you. Your purpose and reason for being here will also be unique.
You must…
- Add Your Uniqueness
- Don’t Hide Your Uniqueness
- You Are Your Uniqueness
Add Your Uniqueness
Do what you love even if it seems someone is already doing it. You will bring your unique blend. The fear that you can’t do something because there is already someone else doing it probably comes from our sense of economics and competition. We don’t want to compete with others in the same area because we feel it might be too hard or someone else is already doing better than we can hope to.
If it is your purpose, you will find your unique way of contributing something that no one else does. Because you are unique, you will be able to connect with and reach people that others working in that area cannot.
Don’t Hide Your Uniqueness
Be true to who you are. It’s easy to copy others and try to be like them, but this approach never works. You may find ideas, styles, and other things you like from others and adapt them for yourself, but wholesale adopting someone’s persona doesn’t serve anyone. You lose the beautiful uniqueness inside you at the same time, you become frustrated because you can never be someone else as good as they can be
You are you. You need to discover who you are and refine, highlight, love, and promote your uniqueness.
“Be yourself because everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
You Are Your Uniqueness
You are an important component of your life’s purpose: what you like to do, what your talents are, who you are, where you come from, etc. The key to defining and refining your purpose in life is discovering who you are, what your strengths and talents are, and what you have to offer the world.
Everyone plays a part in a glorious symphony:1
There are times whenYou might feel aimlessAnd can’t see the placesWhere you belongBut you will find thatThere is a purposeIt’s been there within youAll along
Purpose
You know how 80% are unhappy with their lives?2 And did you know there are 1051 books that can help you know your life purpose?3 Finding, knowing, and living your life’s purpose is so important.
What is a life’s purpose?
Some people think of a life’s purpose as a job that you have to do, the accomplishment of which determines the value you add to the world. This is more than something universal like just raising a family or getting back to heaven. It is something you do that is special to you. It’s the focus of your work or passions. These are other ways of referring to purpose:
- calling from Heaven,
- professional work,
- life’s work, or
- life’s mission.
You exist. It is in human nature to find a reason for existing. René Descartes said, “Cogito, ergo sum” or “I think therefore I am.” Aside from just detecting we exist, we want to know why. We need a deeper reason for our existence. The definition of the word purpose is…
pur·pose/ˈpərpəs/
noun: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists or a person’s sense of resolve or determination.
Having this, “thing to do,” a calling, profession, work, or mission, helps define our purpose and gives our life meaning in the grand scheme of the world around us.
More than a job
Your life’s purpose is more than just finding a job. It is finding what you love and doing it. In a commencement address at Stanford in 2005, Steve Jobs said:4
“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle…
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Elements of a Life’s Purpose?
Anyone’s life’s purpose will have some necessary elements:
- You (some uniqueness about you)
- Service
- Results
You
You, who you are, inform what your purpose is. A fundamental principle of economics is that we all get further in life by specializing in a task, trade, or profession and trading our goods and services with what others produce. As you look inside yourself, you will find that you have gifts and talents that are unique to you.
“God endows each of us with talents and gifts. It is our calling to discover them and to use them in the service of His children.” Jeffery A. Thompson
Service
We must seek out ways to use these talents in service to our fellow men.
“For as God bestows any ability or gift upon any of us, he binds us to such as have need of us and as we are able to help” John Calvin -Sermons of John Calvin
It is interesting that we cannot establish a meaningful purpose without this element of others. Your life’s purpose can’t be to amass millions of dollars. Without further clarification, this purpose statement doesn’t serve anyone and will ultimately fail to give you meaning. So, who do we serve? Humanity, or a specific subsection of humanity.
“We all have a common purpose, it is to serve humanity. You just need to pick a vehicle.” – Boyd Truman
Your mission needs to be bigger than you. You need to adopt an outward mindset.5 You need to have someone to fight for.6. Who do you take a stand for? Successful people serve others. Most of the time, high performing people have a reason, and more often that reason was one person.7 So, if you don’t already have a clearly defined group of people to serve, find just one.
The truth is we will do more for others than for ourselves. And when we serve, we find our purpose. The Bible tells us that, “He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.” (John 12:25.) Or, “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.” (Luke 17:33.). That’s the conundrum: only when you look outward do you find the light and passion inward.
Results
A life’s purpose is always focused on achieving some result. There is always a measurable objective with your life’s purpose even if it’s just playing a certain role in society.
The reason for this results element is that meaning must be derived from something brought into existence in the physical world or something that actually made a difference in someone’s life. This, no doubt, comes from our ancient human tendencies to leave a legacy, to, “make a difference” with our life, to leave a mark, or some legacy for future generations.
What your purpose is not?
Your purpose is not your…
- Vision
- Dreams
- Goals
- Bucket list
When embarking on the road to personal development, it is easy to confuse purpose with vision. While vision tells us where we want to end up, purpose tells us our reason for being in the first place. Your vision, dreams, goals may all have elements of what we own, who we are, where we live, and who we have relationships with. These are irrelevant to your life’s purpose, but nonetheless important to you.
Visions also, however, may contain elements of our purpose like having achieved something like. It is normal and expected to set a goal to achieve one’s life’s purpose or at lease to make progress in it. For example, your vision might include having saved 1 million starving children in Africa. Whereas this life purpose would be to eliminate hunger and suffering of the Earth’s poor by organizing donors and social programs (you, service, results).
Not what you think it is
It is likely that your life’s purpose is not what you think it is. There are several myths out there about finding one’s true purpose in life. Here are 5 myths that once debunked, can give you a better understanding and expectations of your personal purpose.
5 Myths of Finding Your Purpose8
- You’re lucky if you have one (i.e. you might not have one) – Everyone has a purpose or a calling in life, you just need to detect it. It may take time, but everyone, everyone has a purpose in their life. Either looking at it from a religious point of view that God loves you and didn’t leave you unfinished, or looking at it from an economics point of view that you absolutely mathematically have some unique ability, talent, or skill that can be developed to specialize and add significant value to society over your lifetime.
- You have one true purpose – Your calling can take many forms and will evolve. Just like there is no one single true love out there for you, there is no one single life’s purpose. You find what you gravitate to and you love what you find, grow with it, develop your talents, make it your own and adopt it as your purpose. Moreover, regardless of what you are committed to today, that job, profession, or service can and likely will evolve and take many forms throughout your life. Don’t be worried about missing out your one-true purpose. There are many suitable answers to this question.
- Life will be bliss if you find your purpose – Your purpose will take work: both bliss and blisters are a part of manifesting your purpose. Look at many famous people who absolutely love what they do. They also work hard and work means work. There will be enjoyable elements of any profession, but there are also mundane elements that come with every life’s purpose. However, having your eye on a higher meaning makes the rigmarole bearable.
- Finding your calling will make you famous – You are fulfilled whether you serve in silence or public. Often we think of people who are in their element, doing what they love and being acknowledged for contributing to humanity in that special way. But acknowledgment, although nice, is irrelevant for a fulfilling life’s purpose. You do it. It means something to you. You do not need the acclamations of others to confirm this to you.
- Meaning in life is found in your work – Meaning comes from both your personal and professional life. Although your sense of meaning can seem like it’s tied to your work, your life’s purpose, it is about living it that counts. Your sense of meaning in life will come from other things you envision like meaningful relationships with friends and family, accomplishments both within and outside your field of expertise, who you have become, and your comfort and lifestyle.
Passion
We will talk about how to find your purpose soon, but one of the clues we will be looking for is something intimate about you: your passion. What is passion?
pas·sion /ˈpaSHən/
noun: an intense desire or enthusiasm for something.
Your passion or passions are things that evoke emotions within you, things you desire to focus on or gravitate toward. They get you excited, and you talk about them a lot. You will likely never lose interest in these things. And as long as you can marry them with your natural talents, you have found a match appropriate to adopt as your life’s mission.
How does your life’s purpose relate to your passion?
Your passions will help you find and ignite your life’s purpose. You must learn about your values, love, emotion, self-identity, what you would defend, what you believe, something very important to you, something you can’t stand to be without, something you love to think or talk about. This is your passion. Knowing more about your passions will help you find a strong and fulfilling life’s purpose.
Your passions may be one or many things. You may have some passions innately part of your nature while others arose through your experiences or interactions. They may even come or go. But focusing on them or linking them to your life’s work or purpose, will more than likely cause them to burn deeper. The nature of most things is that we love that which we know about and are familiar with.
Elements of Passion
Purpose has two elements: desire and drive.
- Desire – This is your inner fire. You feel very strongly about making a difference in this area. It holds your interest intensely. This desire may have come from traumatic experiences in the past or emotional encounters. A person who had been abused, for instance, may have a personal desire to prevent others from being abused.
- Drive – This keeps you going when times get rough. Your reason for pursuing this is deeper than your own personal benefit, which would be easy to abandon when it appears that the price is higher than the reward. But if we are paying the price for a much higher purpose, the price can continue to rise and we will not give up.
Clarify & Create
You may be thinking, “That’s all well and good, but how do I find my life’s purpose?” And good for you. All this theorizing is pointless without some action. So
Understand First
A few things to understand first…
- It may evolve – whatever you discover or light upon today in your efforts to find your life’s purpose will not be set in stone. Thus, if you are worried that you need to commit to something for the rest of your life, you can rest assured. It is more than likely your life’s purpose will evolve as you grow and evolve.
- It can take many forms – As we debunked with one of the myths above, your life’s purpose may possibly take many forms. Don’t be looking for the one and only, or you might miss out on many possibilities that you can consider.
- You grow with it – When you discover (or decide) on your life’s mission, life with it and let it grow and become a part of you. You will get better at what you do as you do it more and more.
- You can’t miss it – You finding your life’s purpose is part of the process, the searching the discovery, and even the mistakes along the way. Be willing to make some mistakes. You know there is not only one possible purpose for you, so don’t be worried that you are going to miss out on that one chance. There are many possibilities and chances.
It’s a Process
Finding your purpose is a process. You may start to uncover it today, or maybe you already have an idea and you just need to clarify or revisit it. At any rate, expect it to take time. For most people, it comes only after a little bit of soul searching.
Give it time. Set aside some quiet time (at least an hour or two) where you can devote to thinking about this and nothing else. Go through one of the exercises below and really give it some thought. The more thorough your efforts are the better the result you will come up with.
Come back and revisit this topic in six months. Refining your life’s purpose is an ongoing process. Hopefully, you can articulate your purpose into a mission statement for your life.
HOW TO FIND YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Now, how to find your purpose? The path might be different for many people, so what I present below are several methods others have used that have been useful for them. I suggest reviewing each one and starting with the method that strikes you the strongest. They all have similar elements, so the will likely lead to similar results. Try and try again. When you have something you feel is a life’s purpose, write it down in a statement and work with it. Return to this as often as you need.
Detecting vs. Creating
There is a delicate balance between us detecting our life’s purpose and us creating it. The first step is to detect it, then working with what we have, we create (or magnify it). Detecting our life’s purpose is a process of understanding ourselves. Steven R. Covey speaks about this distinction from what he learned from Victor Frankl:
“Frankl says we detect rather than invent our missions in life. I like that choice of words. I think each of us has an internal monitor or sense, a conscience, that gives us an awareness of our own uniqueness and the singular contributions that we can make. In Frankl’s words, “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life…. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”
…
“Our meaning comes from within. Again, in the words of Frankl, “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” (emphasis added)9
Now, let’s put Detecting in practice:
- Step 1: Ask, “What do I have to offer the world?”
- Step 2: Ask, “What does the world need me to do?”
- Step 3: Listen. Write down all the thoughts that come to you.
- Step 4: Organize. From all those thoughts, what are some possible life purposes?
- Step 5: Prioritize. Which of these are you most excited about?
- Step 6: Initialize. Try it out. Adopt that purpose and begin to live it. If you are inspired and feel fulfillment, keep going. If not, rinse and repeat (you may have to do this over and over and over again).
Introspection & Questioning
I love the works of Jack Canfield. He presents some unique ways of coming into your purpose10:
Angelic Gift
He says to imagine that you are in a beautiful place. An angel from heaven comes down and gives you a box (you imagine this in lots of detail). Open the box… There it is: your purpose in life. This is a great way to tap into your subconscious mind and ask your deeper self this question, which might already know what your purpose is. But this doesn’t work for everyone.
Personal & Expressions
If the above method doesn’t work, you can ask yourself some questions with introspection:
- Qualities “What are the two qualities that you feel describe you (for example love and joy)?” and
- Love “What are the two ways you most love expressing those? (for example, inspiring people through stories or empowering people through seminars)” then
- Perfect world “Describe the world as if it were perfect according to you right now.” (for example, inspiring and empowering people to live their highest vision in a context of love and joy in harmony with the highest good of all concerned)
Joy Review
This is the joy review – go back over your life and ask yourself,
- Think “When did I experience the greatest joy?” (these joy experiences is your feedback system)
Example – Julie who loved animals. She then realized she was happy when she was involved in leadership. She embraced that and found her purpose - Sustainability: Find what you love and find a way to monetize that. This is where you must engage your intellect and creativity – searching for ways to do what you love and in return receive support (monetarily) to persist in that endeavor.
I love the simplicity of this method.11
Quick 5 Minute Snapshot
Adam Leipzig presented a method of determining your life’s purpose with 5 simple Questions:12
Start With Your Gifts
You might start with your gifts and talents if these are clear to you.
If your gifts and talents fulfill you and bring value to others, develop them and let that grow within you. When your passion, your talent, and your opportunities collide, you have a unique chance to adopt a rich and fulfilling life’s purpose. This is not as clear to everyone. Some have developed talents that do not necessarily fill them with passion and purpose. Pursue something you are excited and interested in, if this is your talent, start there.
Are you working in your Zone of Genius or your Zone of Excellence? Your Zone of Excellence are the activities you do extremely well. Your Zone of Genius is the set of activities that is uniquely suited to you and draws upon your special gifts and strengths.13
This is the theme of tapping into your strengths. Strengths are your natural talents developed through an investment of time and energy.14 If you don’t know what your strengths are, you can take a test like Strengths Finder 2.0.
This takes some ingenuity and resourcefulness. Remember that you don’t have to make a living from what you love doing. In his book, 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss shows you how you can build a business or system that earns enough money while you work only 4 hours a week, so you can do what you love with the rest of the time (Tim Ferriss’s 4-Hour Workweek http://amzn.to/2nqgUwU).
Do With What You Have
Life puts things in your path. Some people stumble upon their life’s opportunity. Sometimes this is just fate, sometimes it just works out, and perhaps there are many times when this coincidence is just a manifestation of the tender mercies of God.
You might have a family business you have grown to love and be passionate about. You might have been involved in a movement or industry that you have developed a love for.
When properly nourished and maintained your current profession could be elevated to a level of passion and commitment brings you to love and adopt the profession as your life’s purpose. This is an amazing interplay between who you are, who you have become, and how that informs you of your life’s purpose.
Choosing & Adopting
Although Mr. Frankle and perhaps others have given you the mysterious impression that your life’s mission is some uncovered secret you must hash out, the truth is that you have a lot to do with creating it through your choices. You must find one of the things you love and adopt it and pursue it. If that doesn’t work out, then try another thing (or stick with it until it does work out).
No one can tell you what path will lead to success and which will lead to another path that then leads to success. There is a point in this searching journey that you must make some serious choices. Be okay with making mistakes as you learn. You will be better informed if you tried out paths that did now work.
The formula is simple:
- Learn who you are, what thrills you
- How you can serve others with that
- What results can you take pride in
Don’t think too much about it. Choose something and commit to it.
Commit
The word decision comes from the Latin word dēcīsiōn meaning literally, a cutting off – meaning eliminating other possible choices. Therefore, the process is simple: (1) line up the options, (2) consider the pro’s and con’s, (3) pick a winner, and (4) cut off the other options.
You may be the person that wants to commit to something and never let go. Just know that you also have the option of committing to something for a short time. It’s okay to try something out for a while. The benefits of doing so are you will learn more about your life’s purpose (both what it is and what it isn’t), you will learn more about yourself, and you will pursue your purpose. If you are stuck in inaction because you cannot commit, then you will never progress.
Lean into it. Once you know (or have an idea of) what your life’s purpose is. Do something about it. Here are some suggestions:
- Write it down
- Tell it to someone
- Begin. Take some action ( no matter how small) to get you closer to it
- Think about it and visualize it
- Use it to make other decisions
Remember, pursuing your life’s purpose will take work, so don’t be afraid to pay the price.
How do you know you found your purpose?
Finding your life’s purpose is a journey. It will take time. And when you get there, your will find it is constantly evolving as you are constantly growing. Let it go. Grow and change with it. But, here are some ways you can know that you have arrived at a sustainable Life’s Purpose:
- Not concerned what others think
- Doesn’t matter the cost
- Doesn’t matter how long it takes
- Doesn’t matter
Conclusion / Recap
In conclusion, we all need a purpose in life to fill fulfilled. Many people who are unhappy, just don’t know what their purpose is.
- Your life’s purpose is derived from your own uniqueness
- Your purpose is what you focus your life’s work on
- Your purpose should tap into your passion and drive you
- Finding your purpose is a process you can go through today
Application in Your Life
You wasted x-amount of time in your life reading or watching this if you don’t do anything about it. So, let’s do something about it. It will literally take only a little more of your time (as if this was only a few minutes longer). The best way to apply what you have learned here is to either (1) discover your life’s purpose or, (2) refine your life’s purpose.
Step ONE, choose one of the methods above:
- Detecting Your Purpose
- Angelic Gift
- Qualities & Expressions
- Joy Review
- Quick Snapshot
- Start With Your Gifts
- Do With What You Have
Step TWO, make a choice
- Think about what you learned from above
- Write out some life’s purpose options
- Consider the pro’s and con’s of each
- Pick a winner
Step THREE, get started
Now that you have an option to work with. Get started. Try it on for size, and see if it fits. Stick with it as long as you can to be properly informed as to whether this can serve you for the rest of your life if necessary.
Lean into it by taking some action today to begin on that journey of living your life’s purpose.
The Oil Advantage
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About The SEARCH Blend
This blend will help people look at themselves introspectively to discover who they are and what they have to offer the world. It also helps them discover and identify limitations in thinking and mindset. Searching your mind and beliefs is imperative to improving your situation and securing success however you define it.
Learn How To Make The SEARCH Blend Here
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Thank You
Thank you for joining me on this Personal Development journey.
Books Mentioned in this Post
Steve Jobs Hardcover by Walter Isaacson
Buy “Steve Jobs” HereThe Success Principles by Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer
Buy “The Success Principles ” HereThe Big Leap by PhD Hendricks Gay
Buy “The Big Leap ” HereStrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath (REVIEWED HERE)
Buy “Strengths Finder 2.0” HereThe 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss
Buy “The 4-Hour Workweek” HereHigh Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
Buy “High Performance Habits” Here
Footnotes and References
- https://benbalden.com/everyone-plays-a-piece/ Glorious, is sung by David Archuleta. Watch the video. Does this resonate with you?
- This is from a talk given by Adam Leipzig called How to know your life’s purpose in 5 min: https://benbalden.com/how-to-know-your-life-purpose-in-5-minutes/
- This is from a talk given by Adam Leipzig called How to know your life’s purpose in 5 min: https://benbalden.com/how-to-know-your-life-purpose-in-5-minutes/
- https://benbalden.com/steve-jobs-find-what-you-love/ This is the 2005 Stanford Commencement address. Amazing source of inspiration.
- The Outward Mindset by The Arbinger Institute
- See Practice Three: Find Someone To Fight For under Demonstrate Courage section on page 285 of High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
- See Practice Three: Find Someone To Fight For under Demonstrate Courage section on page 285 of High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
- These 5 myths are adapted by Jeffery A. Thompson’s 5 Calling of Life Heresies https://benbalden.com/calling-in-life/
- Life asks us what our purpose is: https://benbalden.com/life-asks-us-what-our-purpose-is/
- Jack Canfield’s Method: https://benbalden.com/finding-your-purpose-with-jack-canfield/
- Jack Canfield’s Method: https://benbalden.com/finding-your-purpose-with-jack-canfield/
- This is from a talk given by Adam Leipzig called How to know your life’s purpose in 5 min: https://benbalden.com/how-to-know-your-life-purpose-in-5-minutes/
- Chapter One The Big Leap by PhD Hendricks Gay
- StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath (I reviewed this book here)
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