“I don’t feel like it,” I mused as I laid there. I had already planned out my day. It was going to be chock full of productivity and progressive actions. I looked at my long to-do list, at my calendar. I was dressed and ready to go, but something wasn’t quite right. I had that feeling that there was something unresolved.
So, I sat there and just listened. My mind was going in circles reviewing my goals, my tasks, and … yet something was missing. I wasn’t feeling it. I had tried to set my mind to work, but … nothing came. I began to allow my mind to ponder, I started sharing my thoughts with my wife.
Before I knew it, I spent the next 4 hours clearing up misunderstandings, releasing unresolved issues and childhood traumas, and mentally rebuilding how I see and respond to different parts of the world. It turned out to be the best therapeutic session ever. It was absolutely transforming for me. And I would have missed it if I had forced myself to forget the feelings push forward with work.
At the same time, I didn’t get anything else done that morning, and for the rest of the day for that matter as I took immediate action on my inspirations. But taking that time to address that sinking feeling was not only therapeutic, but gave me the breakthrough to make substantial progress on my life’s goals. It was worth it.
But it may not have happened that way. A few weeks previous, I had the same, “I don’t feel like it,” feeling when it came to completing a very important project. And it turned out that I followed the premonition and wasted a whole day doing NOTHING. Actually, it was less than nothing, I regressed and fell behind, so it was like a step in the wrong direction. A deep feeling of regret was the result.
So, my big question for you is …
When should you either…
- Follow Emotions – listen to your mood, emotions, or physical feelings, or
- Ignore Emotions – take action no matter how you feel physically or emotionally?
In other words, should I let my mood and emotions drive and direct my life OR let my conscious mind and ambitions determine my actions and direct my life?
What Should I Do?
There are either one of two possibilities:
- Your body or mind is trying to communicate something to you, or
- You are being subject to unsupportive programming, and perhaps sabotaging your efforts for progression.
FOLLOW EMOTIONS?
Letting your mood, emotions, and physical feelings drive and conduct your life is a bad idea. You end up going nowhere, no progression, going in circles. Wanting to do something, but sabotaging or abandoning your efforts when any substantial progress is made. You’ll only grow as big as your subconscious believes you should be. It’s a hopeless, stagnant life.
IGNORE EMOTIONS?
Completely ignoring your emotions and feelings is also a bad idea. Just forcing yourself to push forward regardless of how you feel can lead to burnout, illness, breakdown, imbalance, unfulfillment, and heartache. You just force yourself too strongly and break in one way or another.
WILLPOWER
Willpower is acting contrary to mood and physical feelings. Making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Willpower alone will fail you unless you have a deep belief, conviction, or clear purpose. It’s not sustainable. Willpower will work for short-term efforts. But willpower runs out and is not replenished fast enough to sustain growth by itself. You must eventually believe in the outcome- that is, conclusively convince your subconscious mind of the conviction.
THE WARNINGS
When conscious intention doesn’t equal subconscious understanding of the world, your mind and body cry out, “Stop you fool.” The response you experience is the feeling that, “I don’t feel like (doing) it.” Or maybe a stupor of thought, a hunch, a gut feeling, or an intuition. Intuition, like the rest of these, is basically your subconscious telling you something. Your subconscious speaks through your mood and physical feelings.
QUESTIONING THE SUBCONSCIOUS
Your subconscious is only as good as programmed. It’s not all-knowing or even wiser. It doesn’t question or reason. The truth is… you wrote the programming through your reactions to your environment. Your subconscious impressions are not perfectly reliable messages from heaven, but they can be timely reminders of reality (or your younger you’s interpretation of it). That is to say, your subconscious is fallible and needs conscious efforts from you to correct it.
SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING
You program your subconscious either…
- passively, or
- intentionally.
We all do it: adopt programming from the world around us, from our parents, from experiences in our youth. And the truth is that most of this subconscious programming is helpful and supportive. But this programming is by nature risk adverse – it wants you to survive. And so often enough it is in conflict with our conscious vision, mission, or intentions.
You will want to rewrite inaccurate or unsupportive programming when…
- the program is wrong and damaging,
- the program is only partly true, but too risk adverse to support progress and happiness, or
- a different program would serve you much better.
Programs are built and solidified by evidence. Even though the existing program may have ample evidence to support it, and even though there is less evidence in reality to support the programming you want to install, it is in your interest to push for a more supportive program. Sometimes operating against the grain or reality and physical evidence is powerful. The utility is a little reality distortion helps to push the envelope of what is possible.
So, What Do You Do?
That’s all well and good, but what do I do now when I don’t feel like doing (or refrain from doing) something I think I should be doing to reach a goal?
Here are 4 Simple Steps:
- LISTEN
- ASK
- BALANCE
- PROCEED
STEP 1) TAKE TIME TO LISTEN
Stop. Pause. And listen to your mind and body. Perhaps your body or your mind is trying to tell you something warn you or protect you. Physical symptoms might be trying to tell you of an imbalance or some unresolved issue. If you are feeling afraid or anxious, you can usually sort out the source and change your programmed automat emotional response. Irrational or illogical fears are the result of unfinished, unsupportive, and unintentional programming.
Start off by getting quiet, tapping into your mind and body, and asking similar questions:
- Is there something my mind or body is trying to tell me?
- Is there anything out of balance?
- Have I forgotten something?
- Is there an unresolved issue?
- Is there something I need to know?
STEP 2) ASK
The questions is step 1 are designed to draw out the information. Now you must do a little bit of analyzing of what you learn and feel.
Here are some questions to help you analyze it a bit.
- Is it based in truth or falsehood? – Sometimes we subconsciously believe things that we know are simply not true. Perhaps we felt they were true at one point. This new true belief just needs to be installed. Sometimes all you need to do is present a case, review the evidence, and BAM! it’s done. Other times, you may need to consistently tell yourself over a period of time the new belief.
- Is this a good positive feeling, or is this a negative dark feeling? – Typically your subconscious steers the boat with negative feelings. If you are feeling inspired an excited about doing something unplanned, that’s a good sign. If you are inclined to do it because you are scared to do the thing you know you should, that’s a bad sign.
An unexpected departure from your plan may come from different sources:
- Divine guidance – heaven guiding you in the right direction, or
- Lizard brain – subconscious mind protecting you from harm so you can perpetuate the species (risk avoidance, but also growth avoidance).
Think about your inclination. Is it from a higher source guiding you, or perhaps a prehistoric reflex intentionally keeping you from harm, but also shielding you from glory?
When to act despite mood, emotions, physical state.
- Ask yourself, where will this action lead.
- Let your vision or mission decide. At one point, you decided where you want to end up in life. Let that decision be your ultimate guide. “Will doing this get me there?”
If unsure or confused, trust your conscious mind & follow your plan. If your plan was inspired, feelings of confusion are just a resisting subconscious mind’s efforts to sabotage and protect – an unnecessary effort to ensure survival of the species. You can confidently resist against it.
Why would you feel confusion? Discomfort arises when you rewrite beliefs or paradigms. You just need to trust yourself and the direction you are headed. Have a little faith. Just keep acting despite resistance from your subconscious mind in the form of bad mood or physical discomfort. The discomfort will turn to comfort as your subconscious mind aligns with your conscious beliefs.
When you should NOT to act? There are sometimes that taking an action even if planned and supportive of your goals will not help. There was this one time when I got up to exercise in the morning, but felt really sick. I made myself exercise anyway. The result was a horrible and worsened sick state. It took me a few days to get back to health. I should have listened to my body and given myself a break.
Another instance when you shouldn’t take the planned action over the feeling that something is not right is when you are overzealous. There are times when we get so focused on a goal, we tend to exclude all else. It’s easy to push everything else out because it is simpler to think of only one thing at a time. But being over zealous blinds you to other important issues in life.
STEP 3) BALANCE
Giving yourself a break. Pushing yourself too hard is counterproductive. Stephen Covey tells a story of a goose that lays golden eggs. The owner, who wanted more eggs and didn’t want to wait, killed the goose to get all the eggs at once, and thus destroyed his ability to get any more. We must take care of our most valuable resource: our minds and our health. Only then are we able to continue to produce.
Create a balance between work and play. Yes, play. You work hard to reach your goals. But playing, relaxing fully, and unwinding keeps the goose healthy and … alive.
TIME WORK AND PLAY
Think of it like layering lasagna. You need to do some good focused work. Then unwind and play. Then repeat until the dish is complete. You might do this by working intensely for 25 minutes and resting for 5 as you would with the pomodoro method. You might work hard for a full day and then take it easy the next. You may spritg and work really hard on a project for a month or two then take a vacation to recharge. Whether you cycle intense work and rest daily, weekly, or monthly, it’s a principle that will keep your most valuable asset working at its best.
LOVE YOURSELF
Finally, you need to take time to balance your relationship with yourself. Acknowledge the relationship you have with your subconscious mind and physical body. Like any relationship, you both give a little. Let your mind and body win some battles. Allow yourself some leisure and to feel happy naturally. Recruit your subconscious to work with you toward your future vision. Work as a team. Establish trust and respect by keeping your promises to yourself.
STEP 4) PROCEED
You must make a decision. Are you going with the emotion or the previously decided plan of action? Steps 1-3 should have given you enough information for you to make your best educated guess. And guess, what? No one’s perfect, so you will get it wrong sometimes. Just choose one. If you are unsure, stick with your original inspired plans. It must be a clear yes. Then jump in.
Proceed with that decision knowing you have already done your best to make a good decision. Give yourself some trust and stick with your decision. You make the decision once and move forward. When it’s deciding time you decide. When it’s action time, you act.
Conclusion
So, when you “don’t feel like it,” you have a few steps to guide you through the process of determining whether to change course or to stick with the original plan.
One bit of advice with all of this. Go through the process as quickly as you can. Sometimes, you can be sabotaged by just planning, thinking, and … well … going through 4 steps. Stay on track 90% of the time.
Go get em.
And, remember,
live a happier, fuller life
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