This post is about this quote,
If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.~Albert Einstein
What do you think of this quote? What does it mean to you?
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Do you want to live a happy life? This is one of the questions I tackle in my recent book, Live a Happier, Fuller Life. And as it turns out, most any goal that you may be focusing on, if you uncover and dig deeper, comes down to a feeling of happiness. Yes, we humans are strongly motivated by emotions (for the good or bad). So, how do you do that? How do you live a happy life? There is a lot of advice out there. Here is what Albert Einstein had to say about it.
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”~Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein needs no introduction. I’m not able to find where he said this or to whom, but the wisdom is wonderful. Let’s break it down and discuss what it means and what wisdom we can pull out of it for our lives.
First of all, it assumes, as I have, that your goal in life is to be happy. Although many people, usually psychologist might argue some other goal, like, for example the main goal of your subconscious mind is to stay safe and stay alive. But I think that even if you dig into those more, you will get down to the same things we all want. We do want to be alive, but that’s not all. We want peace, harmony, pleasure, joy, and lasting happiness and fulfilment.
Secondly, beyond the assumptions, the advice is to tie your happiness to a goal. Let’s analyze this further. After all it’s not the goal itself that might bring those natural feelings of happiness but perceived progress or achievement. So, is the lesson to set goals? Yes, in part. But without further understanding, it might be counterproductive. Merely attaching happiness to a goal, I’m afraid, is a very dangerous thing to do. Sometimes people withhold happiness until the reach their goal – almost as if they are using it as a motivator. They might say, “If only I could finally become branch manager, then I’ll be happy.” No, sir. That’s not what is meant here. Merely setting a goal, working toward it, and sometimes even achieving it brings happiness. In one word, “progress” triggers the feelings of happiness. Here is a quote that I love.
“People ask me all the time, ‘What does it take to be happy?’ And I always tell them it’s really simple. One word: progress. Progress equals happiness.”~Tony Robbins
Third, the phrase, “not to people or things,” to me means – remove the conditions of your happiness. You cannot have your happiness conditional on other people. And here, I think, is the absolute crux of the quote. If we could get in to Einstein’s mind at the time he spoke (but likely wrote these words as he was a prolific letter writer), I can imagine the would have been expressed in response to someone limiting their happiness due to them unintentionally attaching their happiness to another. Without further investigation, we may never know. There are several volumes of collections of his writings where we might discover the context of this quote, which has been removed from its original context by those inspired by these few words. People, especially people who love, naturally and unknowingly tie their happiness to the happiness or approval of those they love. When their loved ones are happy that is happy. What Mr Einstein is saying here, I believe, is that to do so is a grave mistake. Your happiness should be detached from people and things. Allow happiness to flourish in your life. The motivation for achieving your goal should be joy, an intense form of happiness. The motivation and care and concern for the welfare of your loved ones should be love and joy. Yes, we can mourn with those that mourn or grieve with those that grieve. But we can always set aside those feelings to return to happiness. Happiness should be our emotional home when we’re not necessarily called upon to feel anything else in particular.
A final lesson I believe we can glean from Einstein’s quote here is that of contribution. While not intentionally mentioned in the quote, I believe when he spoke of a goal, he did not intend just any goal. Contrary to what the ordinary inexperienced person might guess, a goal for self-gratification is not, in fact, gratifying. The most gratifying goals we can have are those associated with service and contribution. Let’s do a thought experiment, as Einstein was fond of doing, imagine two identical people with differing goals, ceteris paribus. The first person has a goal to become extremely rich and powerful. The second person a goal to make a positive difference in the lives of as many people in the world that he can. Assume that both these people achieve their goals. Which do you think will experience the greater amount of happiness and fulfillment? Although both achievements alone would bring satisfaction, even in the unrefined laboratory of your mind, you can see that a person serving others would feel a much greater feeling of joy and gratitude. Although this extremely biased, subjective, and inaccurate experiment of the mind is based on intuition rather than empirical data, most all of humankind would agree on the answer: goals based on service or contribution would bring greater satisfaction and happiness in life.
That’s all the basic inspiration that come out of this quote for me.
I’m interested if you pulled other inspiration form this quote. Please let me know if the comments below this post.
- QUOTE-If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.~Albert Einstein
- CONTEXT:
- -Most everyone knows Albert Einstein – no introduction needed
- -Not sure when he said this quote or to whom
Let’s talk about what it means:
- ASSUMPTION: Goal is to live a happy life
- Progress toward goal -> Progression
- Don’t rely on other people for happiness
- Take control of your own happiness
- Contribution is key
- Seek to accomplish something
- TIP: Serve or contribution to others will bring more satisfaction
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