Is there some belief that you have that might be either holding you back or contributing to your sorrow or frustration? This post is a collection of the most common limiting beliefs.
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Feeling frustrated with your progress or unhappy with life? You’ve got to ask yourself a question: Might there be some unsupportive beliefs, paradigms, or models of the world that are holding you back? We’re going to talk about limiting beliefs here for a bit.
What’s a limiting belief? A limiting belief is any belief that subconsciously blocks you or inhibits you from reaching your conscious goals or desires. For example, you might believe that you will never be successful at anything. A belief like this is not true, but someone might believe something like this. And they let that belief hold them back from their potential. On the other hand, there are beliefs that are supportive of you reaching your goals in life and living the life you wish to live. These are supportive beliefs and here are some examples of them.
Are all unsupportive beliefs false beliefs? Not necessarily. Most of the time the limiting belief will be false or partly false or at least mostly untrue. But even if there is some truth to it, it’s not supportive or encouraging. For example, a student might harbor the partly true partly false belief that she is no good at math, and such a belief holds her back from succeeding at school. The truth is that right now she’s not good at some aspects of math. After all she’s performed pretty badly in her math class and there’s a lot of evidence to support that. But the statement is also partly false. Last year she was excellent at math and there are many things about math that she understands well and performs well at. There is a lot of evidence to support that although she is not doing so well in the class now, she actually is good at math and a good math student, she just needs a bit of practice, work, and effort. Even if she put a qualifier on the phrase like, “At the moment, I’m not good at the kind of math we’re doing right now in class.” But the partly true partly false belief as it is is limiting. It has become a pronouncement and is affecting her sense of identity and her willingness to put more effort in. In such a case when you have two opposing beliefs where the unsupportive belief seems more true than the supportive belief, consider arguing for or siding with the supportive belief and looking for evidence to sell that version of the world to your subconscious.
So, rather than looking at the beliefs as false or true, it’s actually more helpful to look at the beliefs as either supportive or unsupportive. And both false and true beliefs may be either supportive or unsupportive. The beliefs can even be neutral to your goals. It would be okay if the belief was benign like a potato is a fruit not a vegetable. It’s untrue, but this falsehood has very little chance in limiting your success or happiness in life. The problem with limiting beliefs like, “I’m somehow fundamentally flawed,” is that such beliefs limit or block your happiness and success.
So if you organize your beliefs into categories of either true, false, or in between and supportive, unsupportive, and neutral, what you get is actually nine categories that your beliefs might fall into depending on your situation and whether the statement supports your end desires or not.
False beliefs, that is beliefs in statements that are false, tend to be unsupportive or at least unsustainable. It may not always be the case, but it is mostly the case.
Moreover, you may consciously believe one thing, but subconsciously believe something else. It’s not to suggest that what you consciously understand is wrong. It might be wrong or not, but that’s not the point. Your subconscious mind is often what’s influencing your actions when you’re not concentrating. The limitations come when you subconsciously believe something that is limiting. When a limiting belief takes root in your mind and then you begin to defend it against more supportive beliefs whether those new beliefs are real or not. You get stuck. Sometimes you might believe something subconsciously that is not true and feel like the actual truth is not real. For example, there are many people who are good at their job, but they feel like they are tricking people to think they’re good enough when they feel deep inside that they are not. Their deep inside feelings (even though they may have a particle of truth to them) are false and worse, unsupportive. When you feel like you are not who people perceive you to be despite the evidence, you are experiencing what we refer to as imposter syndrome.
When your subconscious beliefs don’t line up with either reality or with what you want in your life for the future, it can be very frustrating. What happens when you subconsciously hold onto these limiting subconscious beliefs is that you try to make them true. Either you avoid opportunities to get past the situation or you subconsciously sabotage your efforts to progress in that area of life. So, you are consciously working on reaching a goal, but subconsciously you are working on maintaining the status quo. Your conscious and subconscious efforts cancel each other out and you are left with no progress. Your subconscious mind wins because, frankly, it works longer hours, is always on duty, and always has the last say. And maintaining the status quo (no change) is usually its strategy to keep you safe. But you continue to feel stuck. And that’s why.
So, what do you do now? You have some true, false, supportive, and unsupportive beliefs. Everything up to now is all about understanding your thoughts and your beliefs and looking at what influence they have over your happiness and success.
Well, now it’s time to take a stand for yourself. You need to engage your intelligence and sort out the beliefs that support you and the ones that don’t. This includes both true and false beliefs that could be either supportive or unsupportive (or in other words, empowering or limiting).
You need to become your own best advocate. For example, pretend that you’re a lawyer you’ve hired to defend yourself, and take a stand for yourself by arguing for yourself to win. Adopt the beliefs and attitudes that will most likely see you to your goal.
Limiting beliefs are just one of the mental blocks that stand in the way of your goals. Many unsupportive beliefs are limited to your fears. There is a secret intersection between your limiting beliefs, fears, and unmet needs. These are all possible obstacles that might be holding you back from achieving your goals.
In my book, Live a Happier, Fuller Life, I speak about 5 mental limitations: (1) beliefs, (2) needs, (3) fears, (4) bad habits, and (5) lack of desire. But the first three of these five are the biggest.
List of Common Limiting Beliefs:
What follows is a list of common limiting beliefs people often experience.
- General Limitations (The most common limiting beliefs people suffer from)
- I’m flawed, broken, incomplete or somehow not worthy or not good enough
- I’m not loved or unloveable – there is nothing about me to love
- All the world is against me
- Success or happiness just isn’t possible for me
- If I get happy or obtain success, I’ll suffer from it
- Limits of identity (Believing there is something flawed or inferior about you)
- I’m poor, fat, sick, dumb, awkward, …
- I’m too old or too young
- I’m not smart enough
- I don’t have enough experience
- I’ll never be successful
- I’m not naturally talented enough
- I’ll never be enough
- I’ll never be the best, a good leader, or reach my goals
- I don’t deserve
- I’m not worthy
- I am a mistake
- There’s someone better
- I’m not good at…
- I’m a victim
- I don’t have a purpose in life
- I’m not handsome, pretty, or attractive enough
- Limits of circumstances (You had bad luck, bad situation, family, place, events)
- I don’t have enough time
- I don’t have enough money
- It’s too late
- I’ve tried, it didn’t work
- It’s not possible for me
- I can’t make money doing what I love
- Others are better
- Limits of truth (Incorrect understanding of how the world really works)
- All men are selfish or all women are dramatic
- People don’t care about what I want
- I can do it all myself (I don’t need anyone)
- Love is too painful
- Limits of consequences (Incorrect understanding about the future (fear-based beliefs))
- If I do this… then I’ll get that…
- If I am successful, bad things will happen (see limiting fears list)
- We have to work very hard and long hours to get money
- Adopting a healthy lifestyle is so much work and costs more money and time than I have
- If I reach out to people, it will not work
- Even if I speak up, no one will listen to me or hear what I have to say
- I can’t be my real self or I’ll fail, be rejected, or be judged
- I will get hurt
- I don’t need success, it’s too hard, so I’m giving up – that’ll save me effort
- I need to change before I can…
- I am waiting for a person, the economy, or something to change before I can be happy
- I don’t know how, I can’t, I have no idea what I’m doing.
- I can’t offer anything different, unique, or valuable
- If I come out of my shell, others will judge me and it will be unpleasant
- I failed, therefore I’m a failure
- God is punishing me for my past wrongs
- I need to suffer
- I need to be poor, sick, fat, unaccomplished because I’m being punished for my mistakes
So What Now What?
So, you’ve got some limiting beliefs. What should you do about it?
Here is what to do with your false, limiting, or unsupportive beliefs, paradigms, or world models. There are three simple steps:
- Identify
- Understand
- Replace
You can identify a limiting belief usually by looking at your current results or situation in life. If something is wrong in one area, start probing there. Ask yourself some questions. Review common false or limiting beliefs in that area of life.
You can understand them by asking yourself questions about them like these questions.
Question them
- Is this belief an accurate representation of how things actually are?
- Is there more to it, perhaps?
- Does this belief make sense?
- Where did this belief come from?
- When is the first time I remember having this belief or feeling?
- Can I remember a time when I didn’t have this belief
- What changed that caused me to adopt this belief?
- How is this belief affecting me right now?
- What will happen in the future if I allow this belief to continue?
- What will happen if I replace this belief with a supportive alternative?
- What would be the replacement belief?
- Can I find existing evidence to support a new supportive replacement belief?
- What needs to happen for me to develop or adopt the new supportive belief?
- Am I ready to make this change?
- What do I want to do next?
And finally, you can replace them by reprogramming your mind with the new supportive belief. There is much to say on that subject. And I will post more on it later. I’ve covered it fully in my book, Live a Happier, Fuller Life, which you can buy online here.
- Limiting beliefs are those that hold us back
- Beliefs could be unsupportive, supportive, or neutral
- Beliefs could be false, true, or a bit of both
- That makes 9 different categories of beliefs
- But the most important of these is whether the belief is empowering or limiting
- Furthermore the beliefs can be either conscious or subconscious
- So, what do you do about it
- Use your intelligence to sort the beliefs out in your mind
- Decipher which are limiting and which are empowering
- Beliefs are just one type of mental block: (1) beliefs, (2) fears, and (3) unmet needs
- Limiting beliefs can fall into one of these categories:
- 1) General limited beliefs
- 2) Limits of identity
- 3) Limits of circumstances
- 4) Limits of truth
- 5) Limits of consequences
- So, what do you do to fix them?
- 1) Identify the limiting belief
- 2) Seek to understand it
- 3) Replace it with the truth
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