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The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
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Download My Notes on The Big Leap Here
My Review & Summary
This book is totally awesome.Β After listening to it a few times, I bought the book in print and decided to make a detailed study of the book to glean all the wisdom that I could from its pages.Β Below are my more than 37 pages of notes.Β Here is a summary:
- GOAL: Are you willing to feel goo all the time
- You can experience way more love, abundance, and success
- All the time… (never be sad, argue, frustrated, sick…)
- The Main Idea: We all have upper limits
- …of love, abundance, success, etc.
- You can’t tolerate success, so you avoid the positive flow and subconsciously sabotage success
- Uncomfortable enjoying too much (according to our blueprint), we pull back
- Due to misaligned beliefs: The upper level is our Upper Limit
- It holds you back from progressing
- Solution to upper limits (this is the only problem you need to solve)
- Identify upper limits
- Transcend them
- Zone of Genius
- Four Zones
- Zone of Incompetence – no talent
- Zone of Competence – can do something
- Zone of Excellence – good at something, but don’t love it
- Zone of Genius – activities uniquely suited to you
- Good at it
- Love doing it
- Lights you up
- Find this zone and exist in it
- Commit to it
- Ask yourself questions: What I love to do?Β What’s my unique ability?Β What work lights me up and I get lost in?
- Articulate it
- Four Zones
- There are 4 hidden barriers based on fear and false beliefs
- Hidden Barrier no. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
- Hidden Barrier no. 2: Disloyalty and Abandonment
- Hidden Barrier no. 3: Believing That More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
- Hidden Barrier no. 4: The Crime of Outshining
- Common ways we Upper limit
- Worry
- Criticism and Blame
- Deflection
- Squabbling
- Getting Sick, Getting Hurt
- The Three Pβs (Punishment, Prevention, and Protection)
- Integrity Breach
- Spot and Eliminate Upper Limits
- STEP 1) Find it β identify (discover) the story
- Find any story of why you shouldnβt access your genius
- STEP 2) Lose fascination with it (detach it from your life)
- Shine truth on it, release it, dissociate with it
- STEP 3) Become MORE FASCINATED with the story of your genius
- Replace old programs with YOUR TRUE STORY (which starts and ends with you)
- STEP 1) Find it β identify (discover) the story
- Ultimate Success Mantra (Reprogramming)
- Shortcut to progression >> meditate on the mantra
- Idea or phrase to focus your mind on (Central guiding intention)
- Example: βI expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.β
- Life will conform to your programming
- Enlightened No
- Renewing & Refining Commitment & Recommitment
- More about recommitment [stick with-it-ness]
- Einstein Time
- You are where time comes from (infinite time)
- As opposed to Newtonian Time (scarcity thinking)
- Time doesn’t control you; you control time
- βSince I am the PRODUCER of time, I can make as much of it as I need!β
- Get more done in less time
- Just do the things you want to do
- Stress and conflict are caused by resisting acceptance and ownership.
- When we donβt accept that part of our lives, we experience stress
- When we accept it, we experience wholeness, and miracles are born
- Best way to do itβ¦ Ask questionsβ¦
- Where in my life am I not taking FULL ownership?
- What am I trying to disown?
- What aspect of my life do I need to take full ownership of?
- Stop Negative Time Talk: “I don’t have enough time.”
- The truth is that you can make as much time as you want.Β You are the source of time.
- You are where time comes from (infinite time)
- Solving the Relationship Problem
- We are sabotaging our efforts to get the love we crave
- Projection: the power of projection β everyone should know about
- Drop this habit to liberate a vast amount of energy in your relationship
- DEFINITION: When you attribute to others something that is true for you (inside)
- Only Two types of relationships
- Health relationships >> exist between EQUALS
- Entanglement >> two people who do NOT TAKE 100% responsibility
- Steps
- Give up projection
- Acknowledge receiving the love we crave
- Take 100% for the relationship
- Allow more positive energy β raising the upper limits
My Notes
Download my notes: https://benbalden.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Big-Leap-Notes-Ben-Balden.docx
Download My Notes on The Big Leap Here
View Contents
IntroductionΒ Β Remove Your Last Obstacle to Ultimate Success in Wealth, Work, and Love
-
- The Upper Limit Problem (ULP)
- The one problem that holds you back
- The more successful you get, the more urgent it becomes to identify and overcome the upper limit problem
- This will just drag on you until you die β he speaks bluntly because itβs his mission to help people do the last distance to achieve their full potential
- Story of Michael Dell
- Openness to learning
- One Thing
- To get to the level of undefended openness to learning must practice diligently
- The Upper Limit Problem (ULP)
- Must practice a specific skill:
-
- Identify and transcend our upper limit when or where we encounter it
- This is the only problem you need to solve
-
- In this book
- Hone the skill of eliminating upper limits
- This is the same life-changing secret all successful people do
- Once you eliminate the ceiling, you can go on to achieve and live the life you want
- You must grow your whole life in balance (not just financially)
- Talk to us directly
- Sense a huge, unrealized potential in self
- Fall short of achieving that success
- His moment of discovery:
- Talking with a friend β everything was going well
- Then began to think about, worrying about⦠his daughter away from home
- His daughter was fine
- He realized
- He manufactured the stream of painful images BECAUSE
- He was feeling good β some part was afraid of enjoying positive energy at any given time
- The thoughts he manufactured brought him back to his level of unhappiness
- There is a pattern
- Enjoy joy, then stop it by causing some frustration or sadness
- Humankind also follows this pattern
- It is everywhere
- The question to be solved
- PROBLEM: have a limit or tolerance to things going well
- When hit the upper limit you unconsciously do something to bring yourself down to where you need to be
- BACKGROUND: our species feel pain and fear to help us feel bad
- We donβt have mechanism for ongoing good feelings
- We are EVOLVING as a species to learn how to feel good all the time
- QUESTION: How can we extend the periods of contentment in our lives
- If we can element the behaviors the stop positive energy, can we learn how to feel good all the time?
- Can I allow things to go well all the time?Β Can I feel good all the time?
- PROBLEM: have a limit or tolerance to things going well
- This discovery catapulted him from an excellent life to an extraordinary life
- Talking with a friend β everything was going well
- This is a tool to help make this happen right now
OneΒ Β Β Preparing for Your Big Leap: The One Problem and How to Solve It
-
- Journey to the Zone of Genius
- 4 Questions
- βAm I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?β
- Natural inner-sense of wellbeing
- Willingness to feel good all the time
- MY ANSWER: Yes.Β Absolutely Yes! Please!
- βAm I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?β
- Any aspect of life.Β To allow life to flow better and be better
- MY ANSWER: Yes.Β This is really what I want.
- βAm I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?β
- For many, the idea of the positive all the time doesnβt seem likely or possible
- Others assume that the positive comes with the negative,Β
- But it doesnβt (evidence: the author has achieved feeling good all the time β it works and itβs possible) Am I willing to do it
- We CAN transcend our belief of what is possible.Β The limiting belief is no longer valid.
- If cling to limitations (something is not possible) you keep them β the payoff of arguing for limitations is you win and that is losing
- Going into space was a radical act, going inside yourself and aligning things to go well all the time
- If you think that there is even the slightest possibility, work with that and give it a try
- βAm I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?β
- MY ANSWER: Yes.Β I am willing to feel good and have my life go well ALL THE TIME β WOW!Β Yes, Iβm willing to believe that things can go well all the time and that I can feel good in my life all the time.
-
- βAre you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?β
- MY ANSWER: Iβm ready!
- βAre you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?β
- Maynardβs Big Leap
- Was part of eBayβs success
- Knew that staying at eBay was staying in his comfort zone
- His big leap took him out of his comfort zone and into huge success
- Was part of eBayβs success
- Dr Richard Jordan
- Was contracted to sell his business
- Just before the sale, he argued about insignificant elements of the business
- He lost the sale $3M
- He finally found the βDiamond in the dustβ
- He learned that he felt $3M was way more than he was worth
- Questions he formed
- How much love and abundance am I willing to allow?
- How am I getting in my own way?
- Ultimately, he was able to overcome and sell the company to another buyer
- Others could have retreated inside themselves to despair
- Was contracted to sell his business
- Turn attention to yourself
- Did you answer yes to the questions in the beginning? >> good
- Were you hesitant or did you answer no? >> letβs explore
- It is possible for him
- Can you imagine that it can be possible for you
- It all starts with a sincere, YES to those questions
- If you feel resistance,
- Know that it is okay to feel that wayΒ
- We are not trained to feel good all the time
- Biggest resistance
- Fear of owning your own potential
- Everything is on the line
- If you fail, it was really you who failed (responsibility)
- Once you have made a strong commitment
- Every excuse is hallow
- Ego
- Many fears are based on EGO: reputation, want others to think higher of you.Β Want others to love you
- When you commit to the big leap, your ego will face extinction and will not want to go quietly
- Your ego will show up and it will seem that it is trying to sabotage you
- Zone of Genius
- Donβt need the approval of others
- Fear disappears when you are in your zone of genius
- Acknowledge
- Fear is about the unknown
- The Way Through – Fear
- Only one way to get through fear: transform it into the clarity of exhilaration
- βFear is excitement without the breathβ β Fritz Perls, MD
- TRANSLATION: the very same mechanism that creates excitement creates fear
- CONCLUTIONS:
- Any fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully with it
- Any excitement can turn to fear if we hold our breath
- SOLUTION
- Most of us try to get rid of fear by ignoring it (holding our breath) β that just makes it worse
- Take BIG easy breaths when you feel fear
- Feel the fear instead of pretending itβs not there
- Take a big breath to turn your fear into excitement
- Take more breath to turn your excitement into exhilaration
- Goal in life
- On judgment day, God will not ask you why you were not Moses, Heβll ask you why you were not yourself
- Be yourself
- YOUR GOAL: FIND AND FULLY USE YOUR OWN GIFTS
- Moving Beyond The Hardest Part
- Intention β go into your zone of genius
- Use these methods and take a big leap into your extraordinary β zone of genius
- Intention β go into your zone of genius
- How The Upper Limit Problem Works
- Each of us has an thermostat setting
- Determines how much love, happiness, acceptance, and creativity we will allow ourselves to enjoy
- When we exceed it, we will do something to sabotage ourselves to drop back to the old and familiar life
- Thermostat is programmed (usually in early childhood)
- I is usually felt when it keeps us back from enjoying love, financial abundance, creativity and wonderful things in life
- Prevents us from living in our ZONE OF GENIUS
- When you make a leap to a new level of abundance
- Your upper limit problem brings you back down
- Childhood misguided altruism
- We pull back from our greatness when we feel it will it might hurt others
- When shining makes others feel bad we pull back and shine less
- (and create a misguided belief that shining brings pain or discomfort)
- Each of us has an thermostat setting
- A Radical Idea
- Guilt and upper limit problem
- When you are feeling good >> belief arises
- βI must not feel good because flawed people like me donβt deserve itβ
- Beliefs CLASH
- Good feeling vs. Old Belief
- If Good feeling wins β enjoy life
- If Old Belief wins β turn down volume of good feeling through sabotaging success
- GOOD NEWS
- You are not flawed
- Just have an upper-limit problem β can be transcended in wink of eye
- Incorrect Perception β most people have
- WRONG FORMULA: You will feel happy when you have more money, relationships, or creativity
- RIGHT FORMULA: you can have happiness now UNCONDITIONALLY β just allow it
- Expand the feel-good feeling with your intention
- Under your focus, the good feelings will expand
- Let yourself enjoy the feelings as they expand under your focus
- EXAMPLE- of expanding good feelings under the focus of your intentional gaze
- Money problems
- Find somewhere within you the good feelings for your current money supply
- Find some time and attention to appreciate and be happy with your current money supply
- Give your full attention to being happy with the money you do have
- CREATE IT
- Float new thoughtsΒ
- With what seems like affirmations βI enjoy having lots of moneyβ
- Another example of LOVE
- Find it in your life
- Give awareness to it
- Feel it expand
- RESULT: the outter aspects of life will expand to match the good feeling inside you
- Correcting it
- Identify it
- Be aware of it & acknowledge it
- Expand the good & acknowledge the bad and let it alone
- FLOAT: float the idea
- Example: βI enjoy the money I haveβ or βI always have plenty of money to do everything I want to do.β
- Then the outer aspects will change to match the goodness inside you
- Misunderstandings
- When things donβt work out
- Think they are (1) flawed or (2) not destined or (3) not good enough
- Blame on bad luck, bad timing, and otherβs influence
- Many are stuck β right next to success, but held back
- THE TRUTH: itβs just an upper limit problem
- You can change it in a blink of an eye
- When things donβt work out
- Nutshell
- Experience some success
- You are uncomfortable because you donβt subconsciously feel that success fits your paradigm
- You do something to withdraw from the success (fool yourself)
- Examples that illustrate this
- Lottery winners
- 60% of them blow all the money and end up losing it all or being in a worse financial position
- An example of a guy who really screwed it up
- Next step
- Be willing
- Make the commitment
- Looking at Highly Successful people
- Bill Clinton
- Knew when he was a boy he would be President
- Screwed things up with the sex scandal
- John Belushhi β success then failure
- Boris Becker β Wimbledon won tennis, but then couldnβt even compete
- Christian Bale β after amazing success, got into problems with domestic violenceΒ
- Bonnie Raitt β Successful blues musician took a big leap to singing in stadiums
- PATTERN:Β
- Breakthrough
- Find a way to avoid enjoying it
- Bill Clinton
- Solving one problems and freeing yourself
- You canβt solve it β you need to dissolve it
- Shine a light on the false foundations (to make them disappear)
- Four Zones
- Zone of Incompetence
- Zone of Competence
- Zone of Excellence
- Zone of Genius
- You canβt solve it β you need to dissolve it
- Activities are in 4 main zones
- Zone of Incompetence β people focus in areas where they have no talent
- Surprisingly, many people spend lots of time doing things that they are not good at
- EXAMPLE: wealthy friend spending 13 hours installing a printer, when he had no skill in that area (spent the equivalent of thousands of dollars in time working at something he was not naturally good at)
- ITβS worthwhile to spend time working in this area if
- You enjoy the labor
- You are seeking to build a skill you hope to master (and will pay great dividends)
- (I think itβs worth it when you do possess a natural talent, but need to spend time investing in the talent to grow it into a strength)
- Zone of Competence β doing things that others can do better
- You are good at doing things (and maybe even do them better than others)
- But relative to your strengths, it is better that others do these
- EXAMPLE: Friend that spent most of her time doing secretary things, so she could spend time on her environmental project (something she loved).Β She freed up much more time by allowing other people to do those tasks the she, herself, was not good at.
- Zone of Excellence β you are good at doing something
- Most people are good at something, but donβt love it
- Others want you to stay here, because you are good at it
- Zone of Genius β set of activities you are uniquely suited to do
- Things you are good at and that light you up
- Call to genius β inner promptings bringing your attention to these zones
- Heed the call and move into your zone of genius
- EXAMPLE: Client, Bill, had a great idea he was passionate about, but family and work partners discouraged him and he felt like he didnβt have time.Β He said he would, βtryβ to embrace his zone of genius, but died of a heart attack before he could.
- Zone of Incompetence β people focus in areas where they have no talent
- INTENTION OF THIS BOOK
- Show you how to spend time in your Zone of Genius
- When you can identify the genius and move into it, it will make a huge difference in your life
TwoΒ Β Β Making the Leap: Dismantling the Foundation of the Problem
- Something you should know:
- Obtain success >>> create personal dramas in lifeβ¦
- Upper Limit Problem >>> removes success from your life (to keep you where you are comfortable)
- Some negative occurrence throws a wet blanket on the joy
- EXAMPLE: big financial win leads to a loss (back to normal)
- EXAMPLE: good relations with wife, lead to an argument
- FURTHER EXAMPLE: Lois, successful executive, with bad relationships
- She only needed one man to have a loving relationship
- She had a shift and found a man then stopped the coaching
- Began a wonderful marriage > then something happened -> he lost her a LOT of money
- She was distraught and thought he was flawed β¦Β
- It wasnβt a flaw, it was a limit
- She brought the problem on herself (it was her upper limit)Β
- He asked, βWhy do you think this problem happened at this time in your life?β
- Something was going really well, and something inside reached up and grabbed me and made me think I didnβt deserve it.Β I created this incident to remove the good feeling.
- The trick: recognize it and make a good example of it
- New way β relationships –
- When stuff comes up
- Join together with your partner about raising the relationship to a new level
- When stuff comes up
- There are 4 hidden barriers based on fear and false beliefs
- Hidden Barrier no. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
- Hidden Barrier no. 2: Disloyalty and Abandonment
- Hidden Barrier no. 3: Believing That More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
- Hidden Barrier no. 4: The Crime of Outshining
- These barriers
- Everyone has a least one of these barriers
- They are not real β but we take them as real
- We just shine the LIGHT OF TRUTH on them and they dissipate
- Then you are TRULY FREE
- Begin with the possibility that you have at least one of these barriers
- When you encounter this barrier, your upper limit problem is triggered
- Fears and False Beliefs
- These limit you from rising above a level of joy
- BASED on PAST, sometimes long-ago, situations
- They cause you to have a MISUNDERSTANDING of who you are (think PARADIGM)
- Success-limiting, false-belief, Mantras:
- βThese fears and false beliefs cause us to live our lives out of a success-limiting mantra that says: I cannot expand to my full potential because______________.
- In relationships, your Upper Limit mantra says: I cannot enjoy abundant love and relationship harmony because______________.
- In financial wealth, your Upper Limit mantra says: I cannot expand to my full wealth potential because ______________.β
- βThese fears and false beliefs cause us to live our lives out of a success-limiting mantra that says: I cannot expand to my full potential because______________.
- When removed
- Invent a new life based on your natural genius.
- Hidden Barrier no. 1: Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
- βA feeling that Iβm fundamentally flawed in some way.β
- EXAMPLE: Carl
- βI cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me.β
- You shouldnβt be this happy because you are fundamentally flawed.
- Cognitive dissonance: mind rattle that occurs when you try to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time.
- Resolve Cognitive dissonance:
- Best way: Shine the light of truth on the issue
- Loser way: Pull back from the level of success (what your subconscious does)
- NEW STORY: βI am perfect for being me.Β I am endowed with all the powers, capabilities, and personal talents necessary to do amazing things in the world and serve millions of people.β [Ben]
- Back to Carlβs story
- Parents divorced when he was young
- Father told Carl that he couldnβt look at him without feeling hate for his motherΒ
- Carl was convicted of the crime
- He felt he HAD done something wrong, but could never get anyone to help him identify it
- The CRIME of which Carl was convicted HAD ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with Carl
- He interpreted events following as evidence that he was flawed
- RELATED FEAR: if you did make a full commitment to living in the Zone of Genius YOU MIGHT FAIL β more painful evidence you are flawed
- RELATED FELIEF: Even your genius is flawed (false belief)
- RELATED CONCLUTION: play small so you donβt fail big and bring shame and pain
- Hidden Barrier no. 2: Disloyalty and Abandonment
- UNCONSCIOUS MANTRA: βI cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people from my past.β
- Questions to help you discover this
- Did I break the familyβs spoken or unspoken rules to get where I am?
- Even though I am successful, did I fail to meet the expectations my parents had of me?
- IDEA IN SHORT
- The idea is that you keep yourself from success because being successful is tantamount to being disloyal to an unsuccessful family
- Success is followed by self-punishment
- EXAMPLE: Dee and Robert
- Robertβs family was wealthy and cultured; Deeβs family was free hippie and loose
- They eloped and then got poison oak while making love in the woods
- They were punishing themselves for βbeing disloyalβ to Robertβs family
- Robert, a doctor, had treated poison oak and asked himself why he hadnβt prevented this
- Hendricks solution: call the parents
- MY CONCLUTION
- When you do things your family hasnβt done before, your subconscious might interpret it as abandoning and cause you to cease the success
- Solution: Recognize it.Β Shine the light on it. Understand that succeeding is ALWAYS a better way for ALL involved!!Β You can only HELP OTHERS when you are on higher ground. True loyalty is doing what needs to be done, braking the mold when it need breaking, and freeing those you love because itβs the best thing for them.
- Hidden Barrier no. 3: Believing That More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
- False belief that you are or were a burden -> leads to this false belief
- Upper Limit Mantra: βI canβt expand to my highest potential because Iβd be an even bigger burden than I am now.β
- His personal challenge in the burden barrier (see if this resonates with you)
- Mixed messages
- Burden to mother
- Father had died just before birth
- So many burdens and limitation
- Celebration to grandparents
- 60-something and wanted a boy (after raising 4 daughters)
- Felt love and caring attention
- Burden to mother
- Conclusion: felt like he was a burden to his parents
- Had a breakthrough then⦠felt like he was a burden to the world
- Kept experiencing this in life
- EXAMPLE: published book, but siblings felt his success was a burden
- He was convicted of the crime of being an unexpected burden
- At 30βs y.o., he realized that the crimes convicted of were ones he hadnβt committed = guilty of crime
- SOLUTION: Remove the gilt of these crimes >>> unlock the upper limit barrier in life
- βI am innocent, I am a blessing, not a burden, my success will bring greater happiness and relief and relieve the burdens of all involved.β
- False belief that you are or were a burden -> leads to this false belief
- Hidden Barrier no. 4: The Crime of Outshining
- Outshining mantra:
- βI must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine _____________________ and make him or her look or feel bad.β
- Conviction:
- You steal attention from other children β and make them look bad
- Make others feel less by shining to full potential
- Unconscious (and unsupportive) solutions
- (1) turn down volume of genius (donβt shine so much)
- (2) shine brightly, but not enjoy it (appear to be suffering to get sympathy and empathy rather than jealously)
- EXAMPLE: Kenny LoginsΒ
- Hendricks served a coach for Kenny and the band
- Friend Jim Messina
- Both of these would have success and then sabotage themselves
- Classic example of hidden barrier #4 βΒ
- Had gifts, competed against favored sibling
- They worked together and could shine together
- They didnβt want to outshine the other one
- Woke up & able to spot theΒ
- Kenny had a sabotage moment, meditated and decided to create songs true to him
- Eventually producing awesome songs and singing to 500K people on Earth Day
- UPPER LIMIT WORK:Β
- Doesnβt take much time to spot the problem
- Shine the light on
- Not that hard to do the follow up clean-up work
- ANOTHER EXAMPLE: Joseph
- Hidden Barriers come from Early Life
- Gifted musician, sister died when he was young and talented
- Birthday gift, grand piano, made possible by sisterβs death
- Innocent comment by mother made him feel guilty βWe would never had been able to afford this if your sister hadnβt died.β
- Parents had good intentions β but effects were lingering
- His Crime: being alive and outliving sister β HE WAS NOT GUILTY
- Shine the light of truth on the issue
- QUESTION TO ASK: βAre you afraid your success will steal attention away from someone who needs it more?β
- TRUTH: βI cannot βoutshineβ anyone, and the only way to honor others is to shine my light for them.β
- Outshining mantra:
- Going Forward
- Got Background
- Got Root Structure
- NOW: Increase the VELOCITY of learning -> going deep into buzzing intricacy of life experience
- WHERE: Upper limit lives in the moment-by-moment interactions (with self and others)
- GET DATA: Focus on aspects of daily life
- NEXT CHAPTER: Focus on WHERE to find these limits
- Keys to liberation
- Amazed they are hiding in plain sight
ThreeΒ Β Getting Specific: How to Spot the Upper Limit Problem in Daily Life
-
- Focus on specific actions
- Purpose: understand how these upper limit problems operate
- Journey to Zone of Genius
- Like driving βbenign vigilanceβ β paying relaxed attention to what you and others are doing in the moment
- Living in the zone of genius β spotting and maintaining upper limit behaviors
- Typical ways we upper limit
- New Verb: I caught myself βuperlimitingβ myself.
- Common ways we Upper limit
- Worry
- Criticism and Blame
- Deflection
- Squabbling
- Getting Sick, Getting Hurt
- The Three Pβs (Punishment, Prevention, and Protection)
- Integrity Breach
- WORRY
- Worry – a sign of upper limiting
- Not thinking about something useful
- USEFUL
- Subject we can do something about
- AND
- the concern leads us to positive action right away
- UNNECESSARY
- Subject is something we have little or no control over
- ALL THIS WORRY is just NOISE
- This is how the subconscious is Upper Limiting
- Creating downer feelings and emotions to keep you within the – Zone of Excellence or Zone of ConfidenceΒ
- EXAMPLE: left the kettle on
- These can still be an upper limit symptomΒ
- HOW UNNECESSARY WORRY WORKS
- Something IS going well >>>
- Upper limit protection protocol kicks in>>>
- Find yourself worrying aboutβ¦.
- Something you canβt change right away
- Scenarios of impending doom
- TEMPTATION: inflict worry thoughts on others
- SPEED: Amazed how quickly you can go from HAPPY to DOOM thoughts!!!
- HOW TO MANAGE WORRY
- Study your worry thoughts
- >>>You will notice most of them have NOTHING to do with reality
- Notice you are worrying
- ASK YOURSELF
- USEFUL WORRY? –Β can do something about right away
- UNECESSARY β just your mind upper limiting
- Questions
- Is it a real possibility?
- Is there any action I can take right now to make a positive difference?
- Study your worry thoughts
- EXAMPLE: billionaire with wife who bought expensive toilet paperΒ
- Recognized that worry was not about toilet paper
- Calculated cost of toilet paper β helped him see that it really wasnβt that important
- Whatβs the real reasonβ¦
- LESSON: Money arguments NEVER had anything to do with money
- Being wealthy AND loved, too
- REAL REASON: History inferred he could not be happy with money and marriage
- SOLUTION: Stop the offending behavior (change behavior)
- Prescription
- Make a careful study of your worry habits
- DANGER: worrying might cause the worry things to come about
- MOST WORRYING: is about something false or outside your control
- FALSE:Β
- worrying is helpful andΒ
- others should worry about what you are worrying about
- Or something is wrong with them
- TRUTH:Β
- worrying is just a way you are upper limiting yourself
- 99% of worrying is completely unnecessary and unhelpful
- Worries are there just to MAKE YOU MISIRABLEΒ
- (YOU are the one pressing the WORRY BUTTON)
- FORMULA
- Identify there is some worrying going on
- (they will probably argue that their worrying is ESSENTIAL to keep things together)
- Spot worry thoughts
- Acknowledge most worrying is just upper limiting
- Use the worry thoughts to SPRING INTO THE ZONE OF GENIUS
- Worry: What You Can Do Right Now
- Identify worrying
- Release worry thoughts (shift focus away rather than resist against)
- ASK βWhat new positive thing is trying to come into being?β
- LOCATE body feeling
- FEEL body feeling
- ALLOW self to feel that body feeling
- LATER may discover positive thing emerging
- EXAMPLE:
- See jewelry store, started to worry about family member
- Drop worry thoughts, ask about βwhat positive thingβ
- Locate feeling in throat
- Later received insight into happiness with relationship with wife
- TIPS
- Recognize that your worrying is NOT about the thing you are worry about
- Itβs not ABOUT money
- Your worry thoughts are most likely Upper Limit Problem
- JUST DROP the worry thoughts β focus on what positive thing is emerging
- Just release thoughts (release your grip) and let go β they will disappear
- Just focus your mind on the positive thing emerging
- New direction being laid out
- Need to keep savoring success and focus on the good
- It will take time
- Patience is called for
- Congratulate ourselves, too
- ITβS NEW
- βTo my knowledge, that combination is something new in my family lineage.βΒ
- βItβs new territory, and Iβm learning to live in it.β
- Expanding means that you will encounter something new to your family [note: Ben]
- For me, that might just be about success and money and wealth β new concepts to my family history
- I need to give myself some time to live with success and wealth as I introduce this to my family in love and joy
- We are evolving as a species β itsβ science
- CRITICISM & BLAME
- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH REALITY!!!
- When we criticize something (or blame), it usually has nothing to do with reality.
- WHY are we criticizing and blaming?
- We blame because we hit our upper limit
- We blame others BECAUSE we are trying to stem the FLOW of positive energy
- Hendricks
- Spent years perfecting blaming and criticizing
- Difficult to accept
- TRANCE
- We more than often donβt know why we are doing it
- We are in a trance
- Like: Stage hypnotism β we are doing things in a trance
- ADDICTIONS
- Also Costly addictions
- No. 1 destroyer of intimacy (reason for breaking up: tired of criticism and blame)
- PROOF Criticism and Blame are Addictions
- Try to stop it
- If itβs an addiction, you canβt stop right away
- If itβs an addiction, it will creep back into your behavior
- Also Costly addictions
- SEFL-criticism & Criticizing others are THE SAME
- The same is true for Self-blame
- Regardless of who you criticize or blame, the source and reason for it are the same: stem the flow of positive energy
- ALSO, HIGHLY ADICTIVE
- USEFULLNESS
- Like, worry, it depends
- USEFUL β only when β¦
- directed at a specific thing &Β
- produced a useful result
- CHRONIC Criticism & Blame
- NEVER produce a result
- CHRONIC Criticism & Blame
- Personal behavior that doesnβt solve anything
- EXAMPLE: John at Dell
- Blow up and would lose temper
- PROBLEM: caused residual negative energy with team members when released (even when John had moved on)
- REASON: Upper Limit
- Something would go right
- Someone would do something great
- He felt like complementing them
- Began to think of ways the person disappointedΒ
- CHANGE:
- Realized the pattern
- Identified the block (giving a complement)
- Role played, practiced, and got experience giving complements
- Pondering on why began coughing when time to complement
- Locate feeling in the body
- His father would give complements that were REALLY criticisms
- Complements >>> criticisms ((((THE PATTERN))))
- John was perpetuating the same pattern
- He never knew when his father would backhand slap with a criticism
- His team never knew when blow-ups would occur
- He decided he was going to fix it
- Shine light on the discovery β see the falsehood β flush it out with truth
- Confronted the team, was genuine with them, and worked on the issue
- ASSIGNMENT
- Step 1) Become a keen observer of CRITICISMS (& BLAMES)
- Step 2) Sort them into two piles:
- Pile 1) Criticisms aboutΒ
- (a) REAL things
- AND
- (b) YOU can do something about to produce a useful result
- Pile 2) All the others
- Everything else is Un-useful, Chronic, and Addictive
- Everything else is JUST Upper Limiting
- PREDICTION
- You will discover
- Pile 2 will TOWER over Pile 1
- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH REALITY!!!
- DEFLECTING
- So common β we take it for granted
- EXAMPLES:
- You did a good job on your presentation β Nah, I messed up here and there
- PROBLEM: Keeps the positive energy fromΒ
- Landing,Β
- Being received
- Being acknowledged
- EXAMPLE of RECEIVING (as opposed to deflecting)
- You did a good job on your presentation β Than you.Β I appreciate you saying that. I would love to see it improve in such and such a way.
- Correct form
- Acknowledge, receive, and pause to let the positive energy land
- If there are some reservations, share in positive energy and excitement β¦ βI would loveβ¦β
- RESULTS of DeflectionΒ
- Keeps us in our Zone of Competence or Zone of Excellence
- Keeps us βsafeβ?
- Keeps us from challenging ourselves
- Prevents us from expanding capacity for positive energy
- Keeps us in our Zone of Competence or Zone of Excellence
- More Examples
- Spend time on golf course β many people good at deflecting
- He gave an example of two golf partners who were expert at deflecting
- How to Correct Deflecting
- TRIGGER: When someone gives you a complement
- PAUSE: Register the beam of positive energy directed at you (let it land)
- Take a moment to feel pleasure in the achievement
- RECEIVE: Thank the person
- SIDE NOTE: The art β of getting beyond UPPER LIMITS
- Creating space
- Feel β Natural Good Feelings
- Appreciate β Natural Good Feelings
- Creating space
- Natural vs. Unnatural
- Unnatural β short-term fixes
- Alcohol
- Sugar
- Natural
- Let yourself savor them
- Extend capacity for good feelings
- Expand tolerance for natural good feelings
- Unnatural β short-term fixes
- Musings on Golf
- A lot to enjoy β beauty, movement, etc. β¦
- Golf is like life
- It waits for you
- Doesnβt move unless you move
- SQUABBLING
- Arguments β highly effective at blocking positive energy (and preventing living at a higher level)
- TRIGGER: When things go well
- AUTOMATIC: Subconsciously start a conflict
- DURATION: These can last for days
- EFFECT: Drop back toΒ
- Zone of Competence or Excellence (out of Genius for now)
- CURE: see arguments as upper-limit symptoms
- Example
- Hendricks and wife discovered arguments were a part of the upper limit system
- Havenβt had an argument in 12 years
- Energy rechanneled into creative energy
- Writing books together
- Giving presentations together
- MISCONCEPTION
- A common misconception is that ARGUING in marriage provides something interesting
- That it would be a boring relationship without conflict
- Like peace is boring without war β absurd idea π‘ͺ peace is the goal
- TRUTH: having a great time creating things together (and always being happy) is anything but boring
- HOW
- UNDERSTANDING
- Arguments
- Two people (or countries)Β
- Each vie to occupy the VICTIM position
- They each try to get the OTHER to admit they are to BLAME
- PROBLEM: neither will yield the VICTIM position or accept the BLAME
- NEVER HAPPENS
- Itβs your fault π‘ͺ Thanks.Β Youβre right.Β Your pain is entirely my fault.
- ALWAYS IS THE CASE
- Itβs your fault. Iβm the victim.Β π‘ͺ Itβs your fault. Iβm the victim.
- Proofs are raised up.Β Histories are dug up. Arguments are made.Β And no one wins.
- Happens the same at country level
- Arguments
- RESOLUTION
- FIRST step: understand that Conflicts are (SEE ABOVE)
- not winnable
- unhelpful and unproductive
- FIRST step: understand that Conflicts are (SEE ABOVE)
- Arguments β highly effective at blocking positive energy (and preventing living at a higher level)
- Focus on specific actions
- ultimately just upper limiting
-
-
- SECOND step: 100% responsibility
- Each party, individually, takes 100% responsibility for resolving the conflict
- You canβt control the other, so you must UNILATERALLY take 100% responsibility with or without the collusion of the other
- You take 100% (regardless)
- Wanting the other to take 100%, too, before going forward is like requiring the 100% to be split up
- COMMON MISTAKE
- There is 100% to be divided up
- 50% responsibility will never get you there
- SCRIPT: βNo matter whatβs happened in the past, [I] now take 100 percent responsibility for creating this conflict and 100 percent responsibility for resolving it.β
- SECOND step: 100% responsibility
- RESULT
- When people Squash Squabbling (by taking 100% resp.)
- Marriages and businesses FLOURISH
-
- GETTING SICK or GETTING HURT
- PATTERN: When things go well π‘ͺ We get sick or hurt.
- THINK BACK
- Is it an upper limit problem?
- Try to remember some times when we were sick or hurt
- Look at Illnesses or accidents
- Might not be able to remember them all
- Our mind filters out past pains sometimes
- Did they occur after
- Big win in business
- Period of good times in a relationship
- Might not be able to remember them all
- Not all illnesses or accidents are upper limits
- Many reasons that you get sick
- REALLY INTERESTED IN IMPROVEMENT: Look at EVERYTHING as a potential upper limit problem (for analysis at the least)
- PROTOCOL
- Feel a cold coming on
- Question whether it is an upper limit problem
- Pay off
- Discover and remove limits
- Enjoy greater happiness
- BONUS: be healthier and accident-free
- Feel a cold coming on
- THE THREE Pβs (Punishment, Prevention, and Protection)
- This is your map of exploration
- These Three Pβs help you understand driving force for illness and accidents
- EXAMPLE
- Stockbroker gets headaches in the afternoon
- He gets them when he is having extramarital sex
- He knows itβs wrong, but he is doing it because it feels good
- He realizes that his affair is an upper limit problem
- UNCONSCIOUS MIND:
- Punishes him for having such a good time
- Headache β reminder of painful consequences
- He fessed up and fixed the situation β the headaches stopped
- Rebuild marriage
- New home in the place of genius
- Stockbroker gets headaches in the afternoon
- Prevention and protection
- When you suffer illness (etc.) you are trying to
- Prevent yourself from doing something
- Protect yourself from something you donβt want to feel
- When you suffer illness (etc.) you are trying to
- EXAMPLE:
- Dr. Smith was to make a presentation to the department, but got laryngitis
- The truth was that he didnβt want to be there because he had another opportunity he was excited about
- He had decided to leave the university, and so the presentation would not be entirely in harmony with this
- He didnβt want to tell the university yet because he needed to make his presentation
- The unconscious mind comes up with these solutions
- Sickness or illness
- Accident or being hurt
- Dr. Smith was to make a presentation to the department, but got laryngitis
- Solution
- Notice an illness
- Consider it might be your subconscious mind upper limiting you
- Telling you that you are on the verge of breaking through to something greater
- Itβs time to open up and embrace a new high mark
- Ask yourself what is the underlying positive message
- What new positive thing is coming through
- Deal with it β break through to a new level
- Donβt deal with it β the pain will continue
- This is your map of exploration
- INTEGRITY BREACH
- QUICK: way to bring yourself down
- Take the form ofΒ
- Lies
- Broken Agreements
- Withheld Truths
- Focus on these three behaviors
- Take the form ofΒ
- UNDERSTAND
- Integrity is a moral issue, but for the upper limit, it works as a PHYSICS issue (cause and effect)
- Physics
- Unalterable mechanisms β immutable principles
- βIntegrityβ means whole or complete (something strong that you can rely upon)
- If you are out of integrity, you have flaws that cause a BREACH in your wholeness
- This is about is or isnβt β not much to argue
- Morality
- About right or wrong β which is highly arguable
- Lying is morally wrong
- Example
- A breach stops the flow of energy
- When sad looking friend says, βIβm find.βΒ Do you ask if they are really fine?
- When Bill Clinton said he did not have sex with ML.Β You can tell he was lying.
- Garden hose
- Lying is like jamming a pebble in the garden hose β it stops the flow of energy
- APPLICATION
- LOOK FOR: Subtle ways that we lie to ourselves
- Look back to the pattern of when these things first arise
- Ask Questions
- Would you be willing to consider, even for a moment, that your [problem] isnβt what you think it is about?
- If you could consider this possibility, you can begin to work on it.
- Could it be you are having trouble accepting higher levels of joy and happiness?
- What is the bigger picture?
- Are you sabotaging your flow of energy because you are not accustomed to success?
- What story are you telling yourself?
- Are you seeing your flaws in others (projection)?
- Tune into your deepest feelings and look for something you might be hiding from yourself.
- LOOK FOR: Subtle ways that we lie to ourselves
- Example
- Sarah and Jonah, a couple who run a business together
- They were fighting about some things in their business
- She was projecting her feelings for others on someone else
- She had met a young man that she could communicate with at a deep level
- They were able to look deep into their feelings and speak about it
- There were FEARS, SADNESS, and many more things that their lives were slipping away from them
- PATTERN WITH CONFLICTS
- Two warring parties are USUALLY feeling the SAME deep emotions
- When they get to the REAL issue, they are both SAD about something theyβve hidden
- THE FIX: dig out the deep feelings and get them into the light
- It might take some time and several sessions, you just need to get those feelings out of the dark and into the light
- QUICK: way to bring yourself down
- The First Step to Wholeness: Discovering Your Story
- DISCOVERING YOUR STORY
- IntegrityΒ
- Is about wholeness
- Breach occurs when we separate ourselves from OUR WHOLENESS or from OTHERS
- Must find breaches and restore WHOLENESS
- Questions
- Where do I feel out of integrity with myself?
- What is keeping me from feeling complete and whole?
- What important feelings am I not letting into my awareness?
- Where in my life am I not telling the full truth?
- Where in my life have I not kept my promises?
- In my relationship with _____________________, what do I need to say or do to feel complete and whole?
- Discovery
- These questions will lift our your story
- Some stories limit our genius
- The stories are JUST STORIES β They are NOT real
- Stories
- Some stories are told before we were born
- EXAMPLES β clan stories that are untrue and keep family back
- Genius leads to irresponsibility
- Genius leads to madness
- Genius leads to poverty
- TASKS
- STEP 1) Find it β identify (discover) the story
- Find any story of why you shouldnβt access your genius
- STEP 2) Lose fascination with it (detach it from your life)
- Shine truth on it, release it, dissociate with it
- STEP 3) Become MORE FACINATED with the story of your genius
- Replace old programs with YOUR TRUE STORY (which starts and ends with you)
- STEP 1) Find it β identify (discover) the story
- The Attitude
- Task comes down to specific things we do
- Locate and acknowledge a feeling in body
- Articulate truth
- Replace BLAME with WONDER
- Be lighthearted β rather than criticize yourself
- Cheerful wonder and keen interest in resolve
- Playful attitude toward self and shortcomings
- EXAMPLE
- βULPβ acronym used in one training session
- βI found myself ulp-ing today.β
- Albert Einsteinβs aura of wonder
- βULPβ acronym used in one training session
- Action Step
- Commitment
- 0) Keep an attitude of wonder and play
- 1) to discover upper limit behaviors
- 2) to have a good time doing it
- Keep an attitude of wonder and play
- Make a list of upper-limiting behaviors
- Worrying
- Blame and criticism
- Getting sick or hurt
- Squabbling
- Hiding significant feelings
- Not keeping agreements
- Not speaking significant truths to the relevant people. (If youβre mad at John, heβs the relevant person to talk to. It doesnβt help to tell Fred that youβre mad at John.)
- Deflecting. (Brushing off compliments is a good example of deflecting)
- Commitment
- Task comes down to specific things we do
- When you see yourself upper limiting,
- Shift attention to the real issue:
- Creating capacity for abundance, love, and successβ¦
- Allowing the flow of positive energy
- Being comfortable with good things happening
- Use all your resources
- FEEL more love (in chest and hear area)
- SAVOR the feelings
- Embrace a NEW STORY
- Make up an NEW mythology (story)
- Make up your own story β show you enjoying your life in every area
- Be the author of your future
- Make up an NEW mythology (story)
- Shift attention to the real issue:
FourΒ Β Β Building a New Home in Your Zone of Genius: How to Make Every Moment an Expression of Your Genius
-
- Two important questions:
- What is my genius?
- How can I bring forth my genius in ways that serve others and myself at the same time?
- **Answering these will help you break through to new heights
- Discovering Genius = The Big Leap
- Before this β itβs just hopping
- Tune into any sluggish things
- Before this β itβs just hopping
- His story
- Was working in Zone of Excellence
- Had success, books, seminars, speeches, coaching, money pouring in, houses, employees, etcβ¦
- Accountant said they were $120,000 short for taxes
- He was turning 50 β began to have sluggish dull feeling
- Dug deep β looked inside and discovered an Upper Limit problem
- He was spending too much time in his Zone of Excellence β needed to raise the bar
- Staying in your Zone of Excellence is much more reliable
- MBAβs are just hops and not leaps
- Class Reunion
- He attended a class reunion at his Alma Mater
- He began to discover his mates
- Only about 6 were genuinely happy with their lives
- Scholars unhappy with limiting elements of academia
- Therapist unhappy with limiting elements of private practiceΒ
- Professors envied the private practice and the private practice envied the professors
- Many tales of thwarted hopes
- REALIZATION: their complaints were not real
- They just have not taken the big leap
- QUESTION:
- What would you really love to be doing?
- They were clear on this (write books, make videos, more impact in the worldβ¦)
- LONGING EMOTION
- HOPE β a possibility of getting what you yearn for
- DESPAIR β want something that is unobtainable
- EXCUSE β carefully crafted, well-justified of why they canβt take the Big Leap
- Family, stress, money,β¦
- FEAR is the real issue β under EVERY complaint (excuse)
- I MIGHT FAIL!
- βWhat if I really opened up and found that my genius wasnβt good enough?β
- Your Genius Commitment
- Zone of Genius
- Constant sense of purposeful joy
- You donβt feel like you are working
- Work doesnβt feel like work
- Time feels completely different (time doesnβt fly, it flows)
- Question: Will you make a commitment to LIVE IN YOUR ZONE OF GENIUS?
- Getting there
- Begin with a commitment
- Make the leap of faith
- βI must live in my Zone of Geniusβ
- βI commit to living in my Zone of Genius, now and forever.β
- Zone of Genius
- The Genius Questions
- Commitment is the entry gate β the key to get started
- Wonder about these questions
- 1. What do I most love to do?Β
- I love it so much that I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored
- How to distinguish Genius from ExcellenceΒ
- Getting things simple, basic, and intimate to you
- [This has a close connect to your WHY]
- Wonder about this until it is CLEAR
- Doesnβt need to be super clear, just at least getting there
- MY TRY
- I love to create
- 2. What work do I do that doesnβt seem like work?
- I can do it all day long without ever feeling tired or bored
- [Connectingβ¦ servingβ¦ so much enjoymentβ¦]
- Sometimes we get distracted with the minutiae of things
- Writing, creating, and making things that will work, add value, and serve others
- 3. In my work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to amount of time spent?
- Even if I do only ten seconds or a few minutes of it, an idea or a deeper connection may spring forth that leads to huge value.
- Time to think
- Pondering time
- Schedule meditate and time to let your mind flow freely
- This could be meditation time
- Story about Nancy: mother who wanted to be a mystery novels
- She saw that she had to write first (put a higher priority on important things)
- She had thought that if she didnβt put those other things first, there would be problems
- She also had a problem with outshining her sisters
- Their feelings are their business
- You have a chance to inspire them
- Assignment: do the important things first!!
- It would take a long time to get things back to where they need to be
- Making things that people use and enjoy, and that make a substantial contribution to their enjoyment in life
- 4. Who you are in most unusual terms: What is my unique ability
- You have a special skill
- Fully realized and put to work can provide enormous benefits a to all involved
- This is the greatest contribution to those around you (work life and home life)
- Not unique in the world
- But unique in your particular world
- Many others may have it, or be able to do it, but not with as much ease or grace
- How to find it
- Russian dolls (Babushka dolls)
- A skill within a skill within a skill
- You may not realize your skill is within another skill
- Russian dolls (Babushka dolls)
- His example
- He has always been able to help people solve problems β from a young kid
- Larger scale of helping people solve problems
- Listen and create a space for new solutions to emerge
- MY TRY
- I have a skill in rallying people to a cause I truly believe in
- I believe I have a skill to help people see and feel a vision and get them excited about it
- I get joy in inspiring other to a greatness greater than themselvesΒ
- Story
- A growing company engulfed in squabbles
- Just listen and let the solution emerge
- Open space for communication
- Kidβs explanation ofΒ
- Upper limit: βIf you donβt know itβs okay to feel good and have a good time, youβll do something to mess up when things are going well.β
- Unique ability: βSupper power, a special gift you are really good at.
- You have a special skill
- Articulating your unique ability
- Focus first on the outermost doll
- Example
- Running meetings
- Gracefully cut off the discussion and move along
- Feel the energy shift in the room and inside her <- subtle skill
- Wonder and rapt attention
- These gifts might have arisen out of events in youth
- These events may have arisen from survival trauma or instances in youth
- How do you know when you βgot itβ?
- Can use it wherever
- You feel you are applying the very best part of you to the job
- Crafting and articulating a statement:
- Iβm at my best when Iβm __________________________. (eg. β¦when Iβm inspiring people to take valuable actions and become better individuals.)
- When Iβm at my best, the exact thing Iβm doing is______
- When Iβm doing that, the thing I love most about it is____
- Close
- Two important questions:
- Inner glow of wonder and excitement
FiveΒ Β Β Living in Your Zone of Genius: Using the Ultimate Success Mantra to Thrive in Love, Abundance, and Creativity
- After breaking upper limits β¦
- >> Learn to live in your ZONE OF GENIUS
- Difficult tightrope walk, which gets easier
- There are shortcuts
- Shortcuts
- Get out of the box and on to the spiral
- Spiral of Zone of Genius β spirals upward with no limit
- IN CONTRAST β lower limits and zones
- You reach a limit
- You do the same thing over and over
- Others are fed, but you are not fed
- Use guiding intention: Ultimate Success Mantra
- Ultimate Success Mantra
- New skills: shortcuts
- Organize internal system along a CENTRAL GUIDING INTENTION
- Install this in your programming
- This is the Ultimate Success Mantra
- Whatβs a mantra?
- An idea or phrase that is used to focus your mind
- EXAMPLE: βOmβ
- How to use it (Meditationβ¦)
- Focus on it
- When your mind wonders, you bring your attention back
- Just let go of the thoughts and return to the focal object
- Gently bring your mind back
- This might happen hundreds of times
- The ART is how you let go and return to the mantra
- Itβs common in the beginning to give yourself a hard time when your mind wonders (not a conflict)
- Gradually bring yourself to the habit of gently bringing your mind back to the focus point (let go of the thought of criticism replace it with an openhearted feeling of self-acceptance)
- The key to integrating the USM (Ultimate Success Mantra)
- Be gentle and accepting of yourself
- Application
- The goal: center yourself in your Zone of Genius
- Program yourself
- Inform all your actions and decisions
- Life will conform to your programming
- EXAMPLE
- βI expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.β
- HOW
- Say it over in your mind
- Let it resonate in the vast area of consciousness
- Listen to the idea and sound of the words
- WHAT IT DOES
- Beams an instruction to your conscious and unconscious mind
- Expand in β¦
- Abundance, Love, and Success
- Mount a gentle, but unstoppable offensive against the unsupportive conditioning
- PRACTICE
- Find a quiet place
- Every 1-20 seconds repeat the phrase quietly in your mind
- Whisper, and Pause and think againβ¦
- Give your unconscious mind a few second between repetitions
- Allow for back-talk (propensity to return to old programming)
- Expect back talk in those seconds β even encourage it (it will stop when it is re-written)
- Rest for a few minutes before returning to normal activities
- Steps
- Whisper
- Pause 15 seconds
- Repeat 5 min
- Rest 2 min before returning to the world
- OTHER PRACTICE
- Keep cards with yourself
- Speak it out throughout your day
- The Enlightened No
- Saying no to good things, but things that do not fit into your zone of genius
- Say no to things that donβt fit, so you can say Yes to things you MUST do
- Pay attention to things you say Yes to that donβt fit β make adjustments
- DO WHAT YOU WANT TO
- This inspires people to
- He told a story about turning down an opportunity to endorse a product for cash
- It didnβt fit into this Zone of Genius β he explained
- This inspired people at the company to do the same and eventually hire him as a consultant
- Saying no to good things, but things that do not fit into your zone of genius
- Another Shortcut: Renewing and Refining Commitment
- Make a sincere commitment β springboards you into your zone
- Art of Commitment π‘ͺ Really the Art of RECOMMITMENT
- Moment of low energy
- They are inevitable
- Happen when working to a worthy goal
- Example: run into a deeply buried belief you are fundamentally unlovable
- You will run into these false beliefs
- Esp. You are unlovable
- WHY
- Egoβs job to make you feel good
- In your zone of genius, you donβt need ego
- You donβt care about approval, you donβt care about control, credit, and other βgetβ-oriented goals
- You are free to fill a purpose without feeding your ego
- War between
- Love lies outside yourself β Zone of Genius
- Love is a matter of your own creation β Ego (need to feel important)
- Recommitment brings you back to focus
- Ultimate Success Mantra
- βI expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.β
- Move, breathe, and hum this mantra
- Think of this often
- Like riding a bike
- Once you get on, you can easily stay on
- Ultimate Success Mantra
- Renew
- From time to time you mind will wonder
- It isnβt a big deal
- It happens
- You just need to get back on the bike
- Pay attention
- You will feel like things are not going right
- You just need to recommit and keep going
- Motivation
- You are motivated to keep living in the zone of genius because
- It is an exhilaration you love
- You feel an urge to inspire others to do the same
- (A moral imperative)
- Sensual delights of helping or inspiring others
- Not only is it inspiring to others, it feels wonderful to you, too
- You are motivated to keep living in the zone of genius because
SixΒ Β Β Β Living in Einstein Time: Creating Time for the Full Expression of Your Genius
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- Need harmonious RELATIONSHIP with TIME!
- Must be priority
- No greater priority
- Understand how time actually operates
- Everything changed
- When he figured out Einstein Time
- Now works half as much and gets twice as much done
- Seems like a miracle
- Benefits
- Feel less stressed (Why? Stress is from fear of things in the future, which doesnβt compute in Einstein time because time flows from us)
- Free up time for creative thinking
- Problem β creative thinking
- People sayβ¦ βWe donβt have time for creative thinkingβ
- If you understand Einstein time, you wonβt have this problem anymore
- Major surge in β¦
- Productivity
- Creativity
- Enjoyment
- Shift comes from UNDERSTANDING THIS SIMPLE TRUTH: >>>
- The Simple Truth
- You are where time comes from
- Action
- Embrace and embody the truth and enjoy a quantum jump in productivity and free time (time freedom)
- Understand that you are where time comes from
- You can MAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU WANT!!!
- Story β he learned this himself
- His stress & frustration from >>> HAD TIME ALL WRONG
- Skewed Perception
- Too Little: Stressed
- (most of the time felt rushed)
- Too Much: Bored
- Too Little: Stressed
- Stress
- Never got all the things done that needed / wanted to do
- Back to story: Escape stress by going to the mountain
- Realization siting in nature
- Understanding of time based on Neutronium time
- Everything changed in that moment
- From that time >>> GOT EVERYTHING DONE THAT WANTED
- NEVER FELT RUSHED
- Now
- Life is much busier, but get much more done
- Never feel hurried
- Lesson
- You donβt need a mountain walkabout to realize this
- Just benefit from knowledge and application of the principle
- Another Story
- Stock broker in NY- rushed, couldnβt look at watch, just gave inβ¦
- βIβll make enough time, so I wonβt be late for my meeting.β
- He relaxed.Β Focused on the moment.Β He arrived early for his meeting calm and collected.
- Invitation
- Take the BOLD MOVE π‘ͺ Convert to Einstein Time (you are the source of time)
- Ditch your time-management system
- This doesnβt manage time, it creates time (while producing rewards)
- 4 Main benefits (again)
- Get more done | In less time
- Enjoy Abundance (time and energy) β esp. for creative activities
- Discover Unique Abilities (related to Zone of Genius) and how to express them
- Feel good
- The Problem (again)
- Thought about time quite a bit
- Time management systems
- Probably tried and failed to use time-management systems >>> Donβt feel bad (many have been there or are there now)
- Appreciate yourself for making a noble effort (intention was to solve time (how to get needful things done and still have energy, resources, and time to be creative and for relationships)
- The Solution
- Einstein Time
- Way to expand AMOUNT of time
- For creative expression & intimate connections
- Save Time
- Be the Source of Time (make as much time as you want)
- Liberate Energy
- Accomplish most important activities
- Understand
- What drains creative energy
- How to stop the drain
- RESULT:
- No more rushing
- No more feeling exhausted
- Have plenty of time
- Abundant energy and skills
- Time and Energy in CONSTANT REFRESH AND RENEWAL
- Way to expand AMOUNT of time
- Einstein Time
- Why
- Life will not get slower or easier
- Do still need ways to organize time
- Existing systems useful only to a point
- NEED make Einstein switch toβ¦
- Shift in genuine liberation from time constraints
- The Old Paradigm (Newtonian Time)
- Major limitation
- Finite amount of time
- Must be carefully apportioned
- Assumes scarcity π‘ͺ leads to uncomfortable feelings and β¦ stress (just like scarcity of food)
- Without food, we would always be hungry (lacking), afraid, β¦ fear of future
- Everyone has felt this way about time
- Newtonian time scarcity is just a stage we are passing through
- Has worked for us in the past, but will not get us to where we need to go
- The Time Trap in Details
- Guarantee: You will ALWAYS have a problem with time!!!
- Two problems
- Too much time or too little time
- Target: I have the exact amount of time to enjoy what it is I am doing
- Mental dualistic split
- False: Time is out there
- True: Time is in here
- Heart patients β have an internal race against time
- Victims
- Entity (Time) is always there all the time
- There is nowhere to escape time, which is a problem if time is a danger (scarcity)
- Major limitation
- Space problem and solution
- Einsteinβs perception:Β
- βRecall Einsteinβs colloquial explanation of relativity: an hour with your beloved feels like a minute; a minute on a hot stove feels like an hour.β
- How you look at it
- How you occupy SPACE
- Occupy space in a NEW WAY β be in the right place and expand your time
- This is the secret here
- Hot stove
- Every thought is about making time go away and contract and every thought is about escaping
- You are scared
- Time is your enemy β so you make it go away (and it does) β you lose time running in circles and doing things you donβt want to do
- With beloved
- You want to occupy all the time
- You forget about time β it simply disappears
- You are everywhere at once
- Nowhere else to get to!!!Β – not waiting for it to pass β
- You are ALREADY THERE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
- You simply just ENJOY each MOMENT
- Time seems to fly, and you get the things done you wanted to do because you are spending time in the right SPACE
- Example in real life
- Visit from daughterΒ
- Called from a phone booth and said she needed to talk about something important
- She left everything to the imagination as to what the trouble might be
- Entered a time tunnel for the next six hours β kept thinking of the conversation and trying to imagine what was going on
- Creative energy disappeared (preoccupied)
- Knot in belly
- It turned out she just wanted to postpone school << not too big
- Afterward
- Time took on a new characteristic
- It took a fraction of the time to be creative
- Einsteinβs perception:Β
- Truth about time
- Scarcity: βYouβll never have enough time to do everything you want to do.β
- Newtonian time
- Encourages us to do things we donβt want to do β because we are scared
- How to take the leap
- Bold step β few people want to take it
- Taking ownership of time
- Must peal of layer and layer of perceptions of time
- Persona β personality (beliefs about time)
- What you need to know about your persona
- We have at least one, but probably have multiple
- Not aware that we are wearing personas
- Like we have been acting like we are shy (wearing a shy persona) when we actually are not
- Success is discarding the unsupportive personas
- We forget that we can take these personas off
- He had a rebel persona
- Caused problems in his life
- Purpose was to connect with male authority figures
- Time Personas
- Time Cop β gets mad at people misusing time
- Get strict with people who are not on time
- Time Slackers β waste time fragrantly
- Always just a little late
- These time personas clash classically
- Time Cop β gets mad at people misusing time
- Switch to Einstein Time
- Take charge of the time we have
- Embrace β βWe are where time comes fromβ
- βSince I am the PRODUCER of time, I can make as much of it as I need!β
- Major shift
- Not longer scarcity paradigm
- Exist in abundance time paradigm (we control it)
- Focus your awareness on β abundant time β we are the source of time
- Takes practice
- Will take getting used to β like driving
- Blunt realization
- Quit thinking like time is out there
- Take ownership of time
- Acknowledge that it comes from YOU
- Claim it as yours
- βI acknowledge that I am the source of time.β
- βI am where time comes from.β
- βThere is no such thing as time βout thereβ meathead.Β You are not timeβs victim. Time comes from you.β
- Best way to do itβ¦ Ask questionsβ¦
- Where in my life am I not taking FULL ownership?
- What am I trying to disown?
- What aspect of my life do I need to take full ownership of?
- Answer is blindingly obvious if you ask the question
- Stress and conflict are caused by resisting acceptance and ownership.
- When we donβt accept that part of our lives, we experience stress
- When we accept it, we experience wholeness, and miracles are born
- Example
- Child has drug problem
- When you reject it, it causes stress
- When you claim ownership, (both of you), you can work miracles
- Child has drug problem
- How to begin
- Begin with time
- Convince yourself that you are the source of time
- Diet from time complaints
- Complete abstinence of complaining about time
- Canβt say, βI donβt have timeβ¦β
- Get rid of all complaints about timeβ¦
- Examples of statements to release
- βIf only Iβd gotten another hour of sleep.β
- βLove to talk but Iβve gotta runβ¦β
- βI have to get to the bankβ¦β
- βI donβt have time to do that right now.β
- What the complaints really are
- Each of these overtly or covertly portray us as VICTIMS of TIME
- Each treats time as a SCARCE commodity
- Each statement is a mini-whimper of misery (complaint)
- Stopping the complaints
- FREES UP ENERGY
- Starts to release FEELING VICTIM-ish
- Allows energy and feelings to FEEL YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF TIME
- The truth behind those time complaints
- Need harmonious RELATIONSHIP with TIME!
- A LIE YOU TELL YOURSELF: βI donβt have time toβ¦β => βI donβt want to doβ¦β
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-
- By blaming time, you avoid confronting the blunt truth (you donβt want to do it)
- Use time as excuse β places yourself in βOh, Iβm a victim of time constraintsβ¦β
- Itβs really the NAKED TRUTH of where you are placing your PRIORITIES
- What is really important to you right now β face up and admit it or change it
- Either you WANT to do that with your time or YOU DONβT WANT TO
- Stop using time or lack of time as an excuse
- By blaming time, you avoid confronting the blunt truth (you donβt want to do it)
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- The Sensation of Time Pressure
- What does being in a hurry (lack of time) feel like in your body?
- Tenseness, stress, head pressure
- What does boredom (too much time) feel like in your body?
- Lungs exhale
- Pulling down on the face
- βBeing in a hurryβ
- Where the feeling is actually coming from?
- Being productive.Β Being creative. Contributing.
- Boredom
- A drain on society
- Urge to be creating something
- No complaints about time (change the way we think about time)
- Get more done
- Donβt feel rushed
- Feel less fatigue
- Had more time to do things
- MAKE PLENTY OF TIME TO MASTER THESE PRINCIPLES
- Takes a lot of practice to integrate the insight into life
- Be on the lookout for those unsupportive thoughts and beliefs
- What does being in a hurry (lack of time) feel like in your body?
SevenΒ Β Solving the Relationship Problem: Transcending the Upper Limits of Love and Appreciation
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- KEY
- Learning how to master more positive energy, success, and love
- Accept more positivity NOW
- RelationshipsΒ
- Big area where we suffer this limitation
- This is a key area that gets hit
- If not addressed => More success >>> bumpier relationships
- Relationships of successful people
- Only 20% of successful people had vital relationships
- Types
- Vita β long-term satisfied relationship
- Devitalized β gone stale.Β Just going through the motions.
- Passive-congenial β never had passion. Ho-hum harmony
- Conflict habituated β constant conflict.Β Combat interrupted by periods of truce
- Identify where you are, and make changes (take action) to get where you want to be
- Transform your relationship into successful unions
- Two reasons troubled relationships
- Successful
- Unaware of upper-limits
- Example
- Famous couple enjoy success, but had problems
- βIβm fundamentally flawed and so donβt deserve success.β
- Problem
- KEY
- We are sabotaging our efforts to get the love we crave
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-
- Destructive power of barriers
- Projection: the power of projection β everyone should know about
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- Drop this habit to liberate a vast amount of energy in your relationship
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- Projection
- DEFINITION: When you attribute to others something that is true for you (inside)
- Example: complain someone is too passive >>> you are passive yourself
- βI attract women who are too passive becauseβ¦β
- You accept responsibility for the faults you see in others
- Example: complain someone is too passive >>> you are passive yourself
- Source of power struggles
- Eat up energy in relationships
- War between two people to see whose versions of reality will win out
- Whoβs right and whoβs wrong
- Only Two types of relationships
- Health relationships >> exist between EQUALS
- Entanglement >> two people who do NOT TAKE 100% responsibility
- TRANSFORM
- Entanglements into Relationships
- Both people must DROP PROJECTION
- Both People must ACCEPT 100% RESPONSIBILITY for creating reality of healthy relationship
- Raise the upper limits
- Thermostat adjustment
- Notice how you limit love and positive energy
- How do you act
- Eat too much, deflect compliments, hold back, argue, β¦
- Couple Synergy
- Synergize failings and upper limit problems
- Synergize eachβs quest to live in the Zone of Genius
- If both are committed to getting there, it becomes much easier
- Relationships
- First million years β relationships were about survival
- Now, we have much deeper love and energy
- Need to flush out old programing
- Genuine contact with a lover trips the upper limit switch (we argue, etc⦠to give up some amount of happiness and positive energy)
- Upper Limit problem
- Avoid intimacy
- Fear leads to holding back communication
- Need to control or dominate the other person
- Steps
- Give up projection
- Acknowledge receiving the love we crave
- Take 100% for the relationship
- Drop projection
- Allow more positive energy β raising the upper limits
- DEFINITION: When you attribute to others something that is true for you (inside)
- Relationship Suggestions
- Take time for yourself (away from the partner)
- Urge to merge and autonomous
- Take time off consciously
- Priority on speaking the microscopic truth
- Iβm sad, scared, or I feel angry
- Donβt try to talk out of emotions in The Air
- Donβt say, βDonβt cry, be angry, sad,
- Let yourself feel the emotion, until you donβt feel it anymore (acknowledge it)
- Plenty of non-sexual touch
- Lovingly connect physically often
- After great intimacy β bring yourself back down gently
- Ground yourself somehow
- Cultivate friends you can conspire against upper limits
- Feel power of other people in same goals
- Remind each other of the goal
- Take time for yourself (away from the partner)
- You have what you need
- Just need to practice from here on
- Enjoy every moment in life
- Stay humble
- Be open to learning β seek deep connection
- Relationships are very important
- He shares a poem
- Ready to meet the Divine
Conclusion
- Concluding words
- As you move closer, you will encounter the upper limit problem: the ONLY problem you need to solve
- You get a gift as you explore and solve the problem
- Upper Limit: tendency to sabotage ourselves when we exceed our ARTIFICIAL UPPER LIMIT
- Too low thermostat setting (thermostat of enjoyment of our success)
- Set low early in life by others or other things (made unconsciously early on)
- 4 Barriers to success β deep reasons we may be subconsciously sabotaging our success
- False belief of fundamentally flawed β good things donβt happen to bad people, so we mess up good things
- False belief being disloyal and abandoning people in the past β sabotage so as to not be disloyal to our roots
- False belief that we are a burden to the world β we sabotage our success, so we wonβt be an even bigger burden
- False belief that we must dim our brilliance to not outshine someone β sabotage so as to not hurt loved ones
- Liberation
- Understanding why we limit ourselves unlocks a new energy within us
- Go to new heights
- Journey
- Spiral upward
- Will likely travel past ghosts of the past
- Pay off
- Gift of enduring value
- Enjoy the love, abundance, and success we create
- Inspire others with our presence
- Moment by Moment
- Catch ourselves
- Worrying, arguing, or sick
- We catch ourselves
- Let go of worry thoughts (or problem belief)
- Feel more abundance of love, success, and abundance
- Wink of an eye moments
- Keep working through these moments and layers
- It will be a great day
- Be living in heaven
- Catch ourselves
- Grateful to share these with us
- Treasures with him
- Teaching these to others
- Life of more magnificence than have ever existed
- Good feelings
- Thought: βThis wonβt last forever, but itβs wonderful while itβs happening.β β this, too, is an upper limit; he quietly dismissed it
- May you transcend your upper limits and enjoy life deeper
My Early Adventures As an Entrepreneur
- Business is a spiritual path
- Canβt split these
- Spiritual experience early in life
- Concept of Jesus as the Son of God
- He realized that he, too, was a son of God
- Realized he is made of the same stuff as everything else
- Marcus Aurelius quote β connected to the whole, so canβt be discontent with anything else
- It didnβt matter whether people understood
- Entrepreneurial baby steps
- Helping people β story of counseling as a boy
- Entrepreneur = creating something others find useful and valuable (creating something from nothing)
- Egg business – disaster
- Lemonade stand β location is everything
- Made some βkeeping moneyβ
- Selling watermelons β think from the customerβs point of view
- Made some good money
- Creating things that make peopleβs lives better
- Make their faces light up
THE END
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